


Wherever you find love

by Theloversthedreamersandme82



Category: The Doctor Blake Mysteries
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Don't copy to another site, F/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theloversthedreamersandme82/pseuds/Theloversthedreamersandme82
Summary: Alice is out of sorts.Can Jean discover what is bothering her?
Relationships: Alice Harvey/Matthew Lawson, Jean Beazley/Lucien Blake
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 started it's life as 'Mistletoe and Wine' for the prompt I was writing for Dee. But I felt the mistletoe kiss would get lost in everything else that was going on.  
> Chapter 2 was ALSO in the NEW version of 'Mistletoe and Wine' and I took it out, for the same reason.  
> The title is taken from the song of the same name from "A Muppet Christmas Carol"

_We wish you a Merry Christmas_ _  
__We wish you a Merry Christmas_ _  
__We wish you a Merry Christmas_ _  
__and a Happy New Year!_

The chorus of voices rung out merrily all through 7 Mycroft avenue, as the smiling faces looked around at each other.

Lucien looked at Jean beaming “Right, everyone pick one gift to give someone”

Alice looked at him sternly “Isn’t it customary to wait until Christmas morning to give out presents?”

Lucien grinned at her “not in this house”

Jean rolled her eyes at Alice “He’s like a child honestly Alice, He just can’t wait”

“Not to get them though, just to give them” Lucien was almost bouncing in his seat

Matthew grunted in amusement “Right, Well in that case, I’ll go first” He placed his brandy glass on the table and pushed himself out of the chair he was seated in. He shuffled over to where the Christmas tree twinkled in the corner. He bent down with some difficulty and picked out a square present wrapped with a shiny red ribbon. He passed it to Alice and kissed her cheek “for you. Merry Christmas sweetheart”

Alice's cheeks turned red as they often did when Matthew showed any form of affection in front of others. She was slowly getting used to it around Jean and Lucien, but the thought of sharing their relationship with the rest of Ballarat made her breath quicken and palms sweat. “Thank you” she replied quietly. She slowly and carefully pulled the end of the ribbon.

Lucien groaned “Oh come on Alice, we’ll be here forever if you take that long to unwrap it”

Jean threw Alice an exasperated look “See, I told you. Take your time Alice”

“Some of us like to savour the moment Lucien” she chided him as she slid her finger under the tape. Shifting uncomfortably under all the attention, she unfolded the brightly coloured paper to reveal a small intricately carved wooden jewellery box. It was a pretty thing, though, she thought it a bit strange, since she barely owned any jewellery. She smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes “It’s beautiful, Matthew”

“You’re beautiful” he replied as he kissed her temple, oblivious to her slightly wooden reply.

“Alright enough, my turn!” Lucien interrupted them impatiently as he all but ran to the tree, plucked out a clumsily wrapped, lumpy looking gift and tossed it to Jean grinning.

As Jean unwrapped her gift she snuck a look at Alice. There was something off about her tonight, She seemed tense and more nervous than usual. She wouldn’t meet Matthews eyes for long, and her shoulders were hunched with worry. She wondered what was on her mind and made a mental note to try and get her alone and ask her if she was alright.

* * *

After everyone had opened a gift, they gathered around the piano as Lucien led them in some carols. Lucien was beaming as he banged the keys with joy, Jean sang alongside him her clear voice singing harmonies learnt long ago in the church choir. Matthews' gruff bass voice mumbled along and Alice tried to keep up, not knowing some of the more obscure carols.

When they finished ‘Oh Little Town of Bethlehem’ Lucien looked around “Last song!” he sang “any requests?”

“Please Lucien, Can we do ‘Silent Night?’ Please?” Alice’s clear voice stood out to him amongst Jean and Matthews suggestions.

Lucien immediately played an introduction to silent night and all went quiet as they began to sing.

 _Silent Night, Holy Night_ _  
__All is calm, All is bright_ _  
__Round yon virgin, mother and child_ _  
__Holy infant so tender and mild_ _  
__Sleep in heavenly peace_ _  
__Sleep in heavenly peace_

As Lucien played a bridge to the second verse Matthew reached out and grasped Alice’s hand in his. As he smiled at her she felt her heart jump, and she couldn’t help but smile back as they locked eyes and began the second verse.

 _Silent Night, Holy Night_ _  
__Shepherds quake, At the sight_ _  
__Glories stream from heaven afar_ _  
__Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia_ _  
__Christ the Saviour is born_ _  
__Christ the Saviour is born_

As they reached the last verse Lucien motioned them to keep singing and he stood from the piano and wound his arm around Jean as they sang the last verse unaccompanied.

Matthews arm wound around Alice’s shoulders and for a brief moment, her worries melted away and she leant against his side, her hand snaking cautiously around his waist.

 _Silent Night, Holy Night_ _  
__Son of God, Love’s pure light_ _  
__Radiant streams from thy holy face_ _  
__With the dawn of redeeming grace_ _  
__Jesus, Lord at thy birth_ _  
__Jesus, Lord at thy birth_

Jean's voice sang a descant which soared above the simple melody and Lucien gazed at his wife in wonder.

Matthew looked at the red head on his shoulder. Alice’s voice was tuneful and simple and as the song reached its end he placed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Alice looked up into his eyes and smiled as she saw the loving look Matthew was giving her. Her heart gave a jolt as she saw the passion in his eyes. She turned her head to rest it back on his shoulder as she was overcome with emotion.

Jean saw Alice’s eyes fill with tears and it startled her. She had to know what was going on. “Right, Alice, let’s go and make some eggnog”

Alice blinked out of her worry and grateful for something to occupy her mind, followed Jean into the kitchen as Matthew and Lucien headed to the lounge room. As soon as they were out of sight Jean rounded on her “Alice, What’s going on?” Now that she was looking at Alice up close, she could see her eyes were red and bloodshot, and although her makeup was hiding it well, her skin was pale and clammy.

“I beg your pardon Jean?”

“You’ve not been yourself all night, Are you unwell?”

“I don’t know what you mean” her shaking hand brushed her hair from her face. It was a balmy evening and her fringe was sticking to the beads of sweat that kept appearing on her forehead.

“Alice, come on, I know you, You look dreadful. You're all pale and sweaty, Your hands are shaking, and your eyes are red. Have you been having trouble sleeping?”

"Yes, No, I..." Alice’s shoulders slumped

“I’m sorry Jean, It’s just… Christmas, it’s so odd, actually celebrating it, with people who love me, The presents, the singing, I find it so overwhelming. I’m not used to feeling so…” she searched for the word…. “loved” her cheeks flushed as she made a face and she raised a trembling hand to run her fingers through her hair. “It’s such a foreign experience. I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to hide it. Do you think Matthew has noticed?”

“I doubt it.” Jean scoffed “Men aren’t usually so intuitive” Jean paused as Alice chewed on her lip “Is… is that all that’s bothering you Alice? You really don’t look well at all”

“Yes!” replied Alice, instantly defensive. Then deflating slightly “actually no” she looked away “Oh Jean, I don’t know how to say this. I’m not used to” she gesticulated wildly “feelings”

Jean hid a smile at this awkward conversation but stayed silent, giving Alice space to think

“Jean, I’m worried”

“What’s got you so worried?”

Alice didn’t answer, She didn’t know how to

“Surely you don’t doubt Matthew's feelings for you?” Jean probed

“Maybe” Alice's stomach churned and she refused to meet Jean's eyes

Jean reached out and placed a hand on Alice’s shoulder “Alice, Matthew is crazy about you! It’s obvious to Lucien and I.”

“But.... then..." she faltered, then tried again "How did you know that Lucien was the one for you?”

“It happened so gradually, I guess” Jean smiled as memories flooded her mind “He drove me crazy for a very long time, and then one day I realised I couldn’t go a day without seeing him, without sharing a smile, or a casual touch. And then I got on a bus… and he followed me” Jean smiled at her “Do you feel that way about Matthew?”

“I don’t know. I don’t _know_. Jean I’m just so worried I will lose him” Alice’s voice was high pitched as her panic rose. Alice tried to slow her breathing as she felt her chest tighten.

“Lose him? What on earth do you mean by that? He hasn’t exactly got a line of suitors at his door Alice” Jean chuckled at her own joke

“But what if one day he wakes up and realises how odd and how” her voice faltered “broken, I am? Jean he’s going to realise I’m not worth the effort” a single tear tracked down her cheek

Jean's finger stopped the tear and wiped her cheek “Oh Alice. You mustn’t think like that. When you love someone, you love all of them. Warts and all.” She ducked her head down to look into Alice’s eyes “Just look at Lucien and I”

Alice smiled slightly at that and Jean continued

“I mean, at any time I could have decided he wasn’t worth it. After every stupid thing Lucien did, I could have decided to give up on him.” She paused as Alice looked at her “Only I couldn’t. Because I loved him. Even with all the idiotic things he does. I still love him.”

Alice wiped her wet eyes and continued with a shaky voice “But…alright, then how do you reconcile your love for Lucien knowing he might get hurt every day? Doesn’t it drive you crazy knowing one day he might not come home?" Her voice rose slightly as her heartbeat increased at the very thought of it "Matthew's already had an accident at work, what if he has another, and doesn't recover?" she swallowed nervously and took a few deep breaths to try to calm herself and continued in a quiet voice "Jean, How do I know it's worth risking my heart with him?”

Jean exhaled “Wow, you’re really asking all the hard questions tonight aren’t you?”

Alice sniffed “I’m a scientist. How can I be sure that he is the one for me? I need the proof.”

“Well there I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you my dear Alice. Love isn’t about proof. It’s about trust. When Lucien is out on police business, I trust that Matthew, or Charlie, or Bill will keep him safe. I trust that he will always come home to me, that he will always love me, no matter what, and I trust that when I give him my heart, he will look after it.”

Alice stared into space

“Matthews a good man Alice, he’s worth a little risk”

Alice sniffed again and wiped her eyes

Jean rubbed her arm “Everyone has doubts Alice, and it’s good to talk things through. You know you can always come to me with anything. I can’t promise to have all the answers, But I can be a listening ear, and a sounding board and I will try to help wherever I can” She paused “And If Matthew Lawson dares to hurt you in any way, shape or form, he’ll have me to answer to, And believe me, I can make his life incredibly uncomfortable”

Alice gave a small smile

“There,” Jean smiled at the brighter look on Alice’s face “Now go and splash some water on your face and I’ll get on with making the eggnog and then we can enjoy the rest of the evening together.”

Alice looked at Jean and reached out her hand to grab hers. She clasped Jeans hand in her own “Thank you Jean. You and Lucien have been so kind to me”

“Alice you need to know we don’t do any of this out of any sense of obligation, or pity. We enjoy having you here. You’ve got a wicked sense of humour, you’re clever, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard Lucien sing your praises, and you make Matthew want to be a better person.”

Alice looked away and began to chew on her bottom lip.

Jean continued “Alice as soon as you two started seeing each other Matthew began to take his physical therapy much more seriously. And you’ve seen the results yourself. He's much more confident getting around. Alice, Lucien and I credit you with that. He’s also much less grumpy” they both laughed as she swung Alice’s hand which was still clasped around her own.

‘I’m so glad you are my friend Jean” Alice’s voice was quiet “I’ve never had friends like this before” she continued seriously, as her breath caught in her throat "Will you always be my friend?"

"Always" Jean promised

"No matter what?" Alice continued

"Of course Alice"

Alice let go of Jean’s hand and smiled an unsure smile at her as she went to leave the kitchen

“Alice?” Jean called.

Alice stopped and turned around to look at Jean

“I’m glad you are my friend too” Jean offered as she smiled at her.

A warmth spread in Alice’s heart as her face flushed. She smiled a bit wider this time and continued on to the bathroom.

* * *

Matthew took the eggnog offered to him by Alice

“I was surprised to hear you request Silent Night before”

Alice smiled “I have some good memories of that song. Probably the only Christmas song I have good memories of” she continued

During her childhood, Christmas had never been an important date in the year, her family never attending church services, or family gatherings, and Alice had spent many Christmases amusing herself along with her sister, and trying to keep out of her fathers way. So it was a surprise to her to find herself enjoying a family Christmas with her found family.

“Silent night was one that my sister and I would sing together.” She sipped her eggnog “I don’t know a lot of other carols”

“I just figured you wouldn’t be one for the virgin birth side of things” Matthew continued.

“Jean and I have had some very interesting conversations lately, around faith and science, and I for one, believe they can co-exist” she announced

Matthew was taken aback. He glanced at her face to be sure she wasn’t pulling his leg, but no she was serious.

“I mean I’m not saying I’m going to start attending church or anything” she saw his face and laughed “but Jean does raise some interesting points”

Matthew raised his eyebrows in astonishment and took a sip of his eggnog to hide his surprise. He coughed as an alcoholic warmth spread to his ears “Good lord Jean, What _did_ you put in this eggnog!”


	2. It feels like Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Christmas eve gifts  
> Alice has a surprise for Matthew  
> 

After a few more carols and more eggnog Alice trailed behind Matthew as he held her hand and guided her to his room. The house rang with the sounds of the wireless which had been left on in the lounge room to afford the two couples some privacy. Jean had insisted it was to help them relax for bed, but Lucien's grin told Matthew he had other ideas for their bed apart from sleeping. Both Matthew and Alice were slightly tipsy from the eggnog and though it was a warm night, Alice felt her palms sweat. It wasn't the first time she had stayed over, but even so, as Matthew shut the door with a click her stomach gave a jolt.

"I have something else I want to give you tonight" Matthew pulled out a small square present from his pocket and pushed it into Alice's hands. "I thought it would be better to wait till we were alone"

It was wrapped in the same bright paper and the same red ribbon. Pulling the end of the ribbon Alice smiled softly at him. "You spoil me"

"Someone has to" Matthew quipped as he gently brushed her hair out of her face. "Besides I love every moment of it."

Carefully unwrapping it, Alice found a square jewellers box. She shot a death glance at Matthew. "You said we weren't going crazy with presents" she challenged him. Her heart had stopped at the sight of the box, but it was too big and flat to be a ring.

"Oh just shut up and open it" Matthew leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Your earlier present will make a bit more sense once you do"

Alice opened the box with some trepidation. In it lay a dainty gold chain with a small heart on the end. It was smooth and as she removed the piece from the box and held it in her hands, she admired its simple beauty. She swallowed and her stomach churned. She still found it hard to believe that Matthew loved her so much.

"A promise," Matthew explained as the dainty heart spun on the chain. "That you will have my heart, always" He took the chain from her and motioned to her to turn around, which she obligingly did, while trying to calm her breathing. It had been an overwhelming evening.

Matthew swept her hair off the back of her neck and Alice took it and held it in her hand as he swung the chain around her neck and clumsily did up the clasp. Alice raised her hand to touch the delicate heart on the chain thinking hard. She opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by his lips on hers.

"You are so beautiful" Matthew murmured against her lips

Alice shut her eyes "Matthew" she began

Matthew reluctantly tore his lips from hers

"Sweetheart?"

She hesitated "I, uh… have a gift for you too" a small smile tugged at her lips as she began to unbutton her blouse

Matthews eyes twinkled "Really?"

Alice's eyes met his as she pushed her blouse from her shoulders, and threw it to one side "Really"

Matthew swallowed as her pale freckled skin met his eyes, but what really took his breath away was the red and cream lace bra she wore underneath.

Alice reached around and unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor revealing the matching satin knickers and garter belt.

Matthew's eyes widened with desire as his throat suddenly felt tight. "Christ" he muttered. He tugged at his collar very glad he had decided against a tie.

"Merry Christmas Matthew" Alice said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body up against his.

Matthew felt his body respond as he snaked his arms around her waist and met his lips to hers. Alice's hands roamed his chest, and her fingers began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt. Matthew grasped her shoulders and pushed her back.

Alice immediately stiffened "Matthew? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry." her hands dropped to her sides as she stared at her feet. Immediately fearing the worst.

"No, Sweetheart. Nothing like that" Matthew leant forward and gently traced a finger from her ear to her jawline, slightly lifting her face to meet his eyes. "I just want to remember you like this. You're standing there dressed like this, for me, wearing my heart around your neck. This may just be the best Christmas ever." His lips met hers as their fingers intertwined

"Matthew. Do you love me?" her lips whispered against his cheek as he skimmed his lips across her jawline.

"Of course I do sweetheart. Do you doubt it?" Matthew's voice was gentle, he was used to having to reassure her

"Will you always love me, no matter what happens?"

"No matter what happens" he murmured against her forehead

Alice exhaled. She shut her eyes "Matthew?" She flicked her eyes open and pulled her face away from his, and waited until he was looking at her. "I'm pregnant" She studied his face for a reaction, but got none

"What? Are you sure?" Matthews eyes were wide

"Yes. I ran the tests myself. Twice" she added chewing on her lip as a heavy silence hung between them. Alice felt her blood run cold as her stomach dropped. Matthew's lack of a response was chilling "I'm sorry Matthew, I guess we just weren't careful enough."

Matthew exhaled sharply and ran his fingers through his hair

Alice stared at him as her eyes began to tear "Matthew?" she paused "I don't know what to do…. I… can't do this by myself, so… if you don't want it, I can… make it go away" she fidgeted uncomfortably

Matthew's wild face met hers "What?"

Alice looked away "I know someone, In Melbourne" her voice broke as she explained her options

Matthew grabbed her hands as her heart raced "Alice, No! You can't!"

A tear escaped Alice's eyes as she looked back to Matthew. His shocked face staring back at her "Are you really pregnant?"

"Yes"

"You're actually having a baby?" She nodded and the realisation finally hit Matthew, and his face almost split in half with a grin as he swung his arms around her and hugged her tight to his chest, covering her face with soft kisses.

Alice let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding "Does this mean you want it?" She asked uncertainly. She needed to hear him say it, before she would allow herself to believe it.

Matthew leant back "Want it? Of course I want it! It's our own Christmas miracle!" his trembling fingertips brushed the bare skin across her stomach as he looked into her eyes with wonder.

Alice looked down at his hand on her "There's a lot of things to work out Matthew, This isn't going to be a walk in the park, I'm not exactly young, there are a lot of complications…" Her protests were silenced by Matthew pressing a passionate kiss to her lips.

"We will work through any challenge we face sweetheart, and we will do it together" Matthew murmured as his lips skimmed kisses across her cheek, then up and down her neck, as his hand mirrored his lips on the opposite side

"But, Matthew, people will talk" Alice protested as he continued kissing her neck

Matthew finally broke away and looked at her thoughtfully. He loved her so much "You're worried about us being unmarried" he surmised

Alice shifted her weight anxiously, unwilling to reply.

Matthew dropped his hands and shuffled to his bedside table "Well if that's all you're worried about" he muttered as he opened the draw and took out a small box. He glanced back at Alice whose mouth had parted slightly in surprise. He smiled

"I got this, when I got your necklace. Figured I would ask you when the time was right." He walked back to her and took her hand in his "So, How about it, Harvey?" He opened the box. "Ready to make an honest man out of me?"

Alice gasped "Matthew" In the box lay a dainty gold ring with 5 small diamonds set into the band. She raised a trembling hand to her mouth. "Matthew, I…. Are you sure?" She looked hard at him "You're not just asking me because of.. of this" she gestured her hand frantically.

Matthew rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he always did when she worried "Sweetheart. I didn't know about our baby when I bought the ring. This isn't the way I had planned to propose, but it doesn't change anything. I loved you when I bought the ring, and I love you now."

Alice felt a warmth spread through her at his mention of 'our baby'. She looked back at him and began to smile "our baby" she repeated

"Alice Eleanor Harvey." Matthew's words brought her back to the man in front of her, holding a gold ring in a box "I love you more than words can say." he continued "I always will. And I promise to love our child just as much. Will you marry me?"

Alice felt her face flush as she looked at the ring then back to Matthews earnest face. She smiled at him almost unbelieving "Oh Matthew, You don't know how much joy you bring into my life, In you, I have learnt to trust again, and to love again, and… I love you. And yes, I will marry you" her eyes glistened with the ever present tears her overactive hormones were producing, but she smiled at him as if her heart would burst.

Matthew pushed the ring on to her finger grinning madly as he did so, and then bringing up her hand to his mouth, kissed the ring on her finger. As he looked back into her face he saw a lone tear trickle down her cheek. He stopped the tear with a kiss and then moved his lips to meet hers.

As she pulled him towards the bed he smiled as if his face would crack

Alice kissed his lips "What are you grinning at?"

"I'm about to make love, to my fiancé, and the mother of my child. Isn't that a good enough reason?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck "I suppose so" she smiled then yelped as Matthew picked her up and spun her around and deposited her onto his bed. Alice felt the anxiety lift from her shoulders as she began to giggle.

* * *

As she lay her head on the pillow beside him, watching him catch his breath, she marveled that she could make him come undone like this. She lazily traced his nipple with her fingertip and in response Matthew picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to it.

"Matthew?" her voice was quiet

"Yes?"

"What are we going to do? We can't live here, And my flat has no space to raise a child, And how on earth do I plan a wedding?"

Matthew recognised the edge of panic in her voice "Sweetheart, let's just take everything one day at a time, hey? For now, let's just enjoy tonight. Let's get through Christmas and New Years, and then we can figure it all out. We'll talk it all through, I promise. But right now" he grinned at her saucily "It's Christmas eve, and I have a partially unwrapped gift, in my bed" Alice giggled as he skimmed his hand down her side and it rested on her soft skin at her slim waist.

Alice sighed with happiness. This moment had been playing on her mind ever since her tests had revealed this unexpected situation, and at no time had she thought it would end like this. Every time it played out in her mind it had ended in tears and shouting.

"I never thought I would end up like this" she whispered into his ear as he continued to kiss her neck.

Matthew pulled away from her neck and looked at her studiously "Like what?"

Alice smiled gently "pregnant, engaged, deliriously happy, Any of the above." Her smile and her voice changed "I thought you would leave me"

Matthew frowned slightly "Alice," he began, but she cut him off

"I guess I'm just so used to being let down and disappointed, that it's just become what I expect"

Matthew's heart pounded as it always did when Alice said something devastatingly soul crushing, so matter of factly. He pressed a kiss to her neck "Well future Mrs Lawson, I'm going to challenge those expectations, whenever I can. I will love you, and our child, and I hope that one day you will understand that I only want you to be happy"

Alice's eyes filled with tears "I love you so much Matthew" she whispered as she trailed her fingers up his arm and claimed his lips once more.

* * *

As the sweat cooled on their bodies, Matthew pressed his lips against Alice's forehead.

Alice felt a wetness on her face and she looked up to find tears running freely down Matthews cheeks.

"Matthew?" Alice was surprised

Matthew's lips claimed her own with a passionate kiss and when he finally tore his lips away from hers, he spoke. "Alice…." He paused, and swallowed as the emotion threatened to overwhelm him "Thank you"

"Whatever for?"

"I thought I'd missed out on all of this. Marriage, children, 'My happily ever after' as it were. But now I'm lying here, having just made love to the most beautiful woman in the world, my future wife, and the mother of our child. You've made me so incredibly happy"'

Alice smiled at him "I never even thought it possible. That someone could love me as much as you do." She kissed his mouth gently "Or that I was capable of loving someone else just as much. This all feels a bit like a fairy tale." She paused as his fingers found her hair "well apart from the morning sickness" she laughed.

"Has it been very bad sweetheart?" Matthews eyes widened "Wait, was that why you were rushing to the bathroom in the morgue the other morning?"

Alice's eyes shone "Guilty" she admitted with a smile. Talking about this with Matthew now, with his ring on her finger, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. For the first time in weeks she felt like she could breathe. She was suddenly very tired, as if now that all of the worry from the last few weeks had finally been released, she could actually sleep

"Stomach bug my arse" Matthew scoffed

Alice nestled into Matthews side stifling a yawn "Jean is right about one thing"

"Mmm?" Matthew kissed her forehead "What's that?" he murmured softly against her skin

She closed her eyes and smiled "Christmas is a religious experience"


	3. You matter to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas morning fluff and banter with a teeny bit of angst thrown in for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! Lord knows its been forever since I've posted anything.  
> There is more to come on this story, but here is where it will stop for now. They might come later this year. Right now I need to get back to writing No one is alone for a bit. Since I haven't updated it since November!  
> Thanks for reading. As always questions and comments welcome.

When Matthew woke the next morning he could sense her eyes on him, and sure enough, he opened his eyes to see Alice, who had dressed herself in a light blue satin nightdress, propped up on one elbow, staring at him.

“What if I’m a terrible mother?”

Matthew grunted slightly as he turned on to his side to face her. “Good Morning and Merry Christmas to you too” he mumbled at her with a smile

“Matthew, I’m serious! I’m scared. I’ve never really been the maternal type, and I’m not exactly young. What if… What if we lose it?”

Matthew could see the beginning of a full scale meltdown present in Alice and he pressed a kiss to her head soothingly “Sweetheart. Breathe. Just relax. We will do everything we possibly can to make sure you and the baby are safe and well for the entire pregnancy”

Alice closed her eyes and leant into the touch of Matthews lips to her head. She tried to still her breathing and concentrate on his voice, but her head was swimming. The calm feelings she had felt last night had given way to new fears overnight and her mind was dizzy with thoughts of ‘what if’.

“We can make an appointment as soon as you’re ready, with Lucien if you like, or if you would prefer to see someone at the hospital, we can do that too. Whatever you feel more comfortable with.” Matthew reached a hand up and stroked her hair gently. He couldn’t bear to see her worrying like this. “I know this is all very overwhelming. Just try and breathe sweetheart”

Suddenly Alice’s eyes flew open and she leapt out of bed and ran out of the room, covering her mouth, her eyes wide.

Matthew swung his legs over the side of the bed, cursing his bung leg for not being able to immediately jump up and run after her. He pushed himself off the bed, donned his dressing gown and leaning heavily on his stick, followed after her. Finding the bathroom door closed, he was unsure what to do. Should he knock? Did Alice want him in there with her? He hesitated and then knocked anyway. “Alice? It’s me.” There was no answer from inside the bathroom, aside from the sound of her emptying the contents of her stomach. He tried the door knob and found it unlocked. “I’m coming in” he warned as he pushed the door open. He found her bent over the toilet bowl, wiping her mouth. She waved him away but Matthew ignored her. He reached over and grabbed a flannel and ran it under the cold tap. Glancing over at Alice he saw she had dropped to her knees and was vomiting into the bowl once more. Dropping the flannel he reached over and rubbed her back soothingly. They stayed this way until finally Alice surfaced. Her eyes were teary and she was shaking. Matthew reached across and grabbed the wet flannel once more. He held the wet cloth to her forehead as Alice caught her breath.

“Sorry you had to see that” she croaked as she sat back on to the tiles.

Matthew continued to stroke her hair “I didn’t  _ have _ to see that sweetheart. But I  _ chose _ to be here. With you. With our family. In sickness and in health, that’s what that means”

She smiled at him softly “It’s not usually that bad. Too much excitement last night maybe” she looked up at Matthew with a smirk “That or this thing really doesn’t like eggnog” She grabbed the flannel from his hands and wiped it across her mouth and the rest of her face.

Matthew reached a hand out to help her up. “How are you feeling now?”

“Starving” Alice replied, as she grabbed his hand and once standing up, ran the flannel under the tap. She cupped her hands under the running water and splashed her face, washed her mouth out, and then drank deeply.

“Let me go and put some clothes on, and I’ll make you a cup of tea. Jean will be up soon”

“Matthew Lawson are you naked under that dressing gown?” Alice arched an eyebrow cheekily

Matthew leant over and kissed her cheek “Careful sweetheart. It’s talk like that, that got you into this situation in the first place”

Alice laughed and swatted at his retreating backside. The anxiety of the morning had somewhat dissipated with her vomiting, and she found it was easier to laugh along with Matthews teasing banter.

* * *

Jean stretched and yawned as she woke. She looked over to where Lucien slept and smiled. His face was calm and serene, and as she watched he let out a small snore. She smiled, and watched him sleep like this for a while, enjoying the quietness of the morning, knowing that once everyone was up, the noise and busyness of the day would start. There was meat to cook, vegetables to prepare, a pudding to boil, not to mention church and presents. Jean no longer attended the Catholic mass but some traditions were hard to break, and she had insisted that all four of them would attend the Anglican church Christmas service together. Although that thoroughly depended on her husband waking up. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Wake up sleepyhead”

Lucien grunted slightly, but his lips smiled at her touch. “Is it morning already?” he muttered sleepily, keeping his eyes resolutely closed

“Merry Christmas Lucien” Jean snuggled in and rested her chin on his shoulder, still staring at his face.

At her words Lucien’s eyes flicked open and he grinned “Of course! It’s Christmas morning! Merry Christmas my darling” he twisted his head around to face hers and captured her lips in a kiss.

Jean reached up and ran her fingers through his messy morning hair. She loved his hair like this, the wild, untamed hair seemed more him, than the neatly slicked hair he donned for the daytime. “Don’t forget, we’re all going to church this morning”

Lucien groaned playfully and she rolled her eyes “It will do you good. Get some religion in to you”

“All right I’ll go. But I’ll have you know I’m only going for the music.” he looked at her “and for you my darling” he kissed her cheek tenderly and then wiggled his eyebrows in a comically suggestive way. “Care to join me in the shower?”

* * *

The kettle boiled and Matthew flicked the switch as he reached for two mugs “Tea or coffee?”

Alice huffed “Tea please. Coffee isn’t really agreeing with me at the moment” she sighed

“No coffee? This will be interesting” Matthew teased as he poured the hot water into a teapot.

“Shut up Lawson” she retorted with a smirk “I may be wearing your ring and carrying your child, but I can still kick your arse” she grinned. “For a little while anyway. Until this thing makes me as big as the side of a house”

Matthews' smile was wide as he looked to where she sat folded into a chair at the kitchen table “How much are you wanting to tell Lucien and Jean? I think they’ll notice the ring, so there’s no hiding that” Her long folded legs were on full display and he was having a hard time concentrating on the cup of tea he was supposed to be making.

Alice twisted the ring on her finger thoughtfully. It was unfamiliar and still didn’t feel as if it should be there.

“No, I guess not.” She sighed “But the other thing? I’m not really ready to tell anyone about it just yet”

“Sweetheart, I wish you would stop calling the baby a thing” Matthews voice was gentle

Alice sighed and chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I just need some time to adjust. I wasn’t sure if I’d be keeping it so I couldn’t let myself get too attached, but now. Now I can’t bear the thought of losing it…him? Her?  _ Them”  _ she corrected herself.”

Matthew smiled at her and kissed the top of her head as he placed the mug of tea in front of her and sat next to her. His dressing gown had fallen open slightly and his chest was on full display. Alice was having a hard time keeping her hands from trailing through the wispy hair that grew there.

“I don’t mean to push you sweetheart, but Jean’s had two children, she can probably help you a lot more with all of this than I can. The sooner you can tell her, the more she can help you with.”

Alice nodded blankly as Matthew continued “Have you had any thoughts who you want to see throughout the pregnancy?”

“I’m not sure. On the one hand it would be easy to say Lucien. I’m here all the time, and he knows me so well, there’s sure to be no surprises. And he won’t judge me for getting pregnant before being married.” She paused and took a sip of her tea, the hot sweet liquid flowing through her to the tips of her fingers and toes, making her instantly feel better . “But on the other hand, I don’t want this to be weird. For him or me. Maybe it would be better with someone who doesn’t know me at all?”

“Sweetheart, Lucien is a doctor, He’s used to treating all sorts of people, I’m sure he wouldn’t think it was weird. But it’s up to you. If you’d prefer to see someone at the hospital that’s what we will do.” He picked up her hand and kissed the ring tenderly.

Alice's breath caught in her throat as she thought heavily about what her body was about to endure. She turned and leaned back into his chest. “I’m so conflicted Matthew. On the one hand I’m so excited you want this, with me” she took a breath and continued “on the other hand I’m terrified. Of the whole thing.” Matthew pressed his lips against her temple and wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand over where their child grew. “There’s the pregnancy, then giving birth, then motherhood. Plus before all of that, I have to plan a wedding and we have to find somewhere to live, and raise a child.” She turned her head to look up at him “I just can’t see how I can do it all”

“You can’t.”

Alice frowned at him.  _ What on earth did he mean by that? _

“Not alone. But together, We will get through it.”

Alice snuggled back against him. The warmth of his bare chest permeated her thin satin nightdress and she shivered as she closed her eyes.

“We don’t have to have a big wedding sweetheart. To be honest neither of us have many friends who we will want to invite.” He hesitated unsure of how to phrase his next question “Will you…… Did you want to invite your family?” He immediately felt her shoulders tense against his chest “You don’t have to have them there if you don’t want to sweetheart, it’s entirely up to you”

“I… don’t know” Alice thought hard. Her parents had been out of her life for such a long time, the thought of seeing them again made her stomach twist into knots “Maybe just my sister?” her face fell “But I don’t even know where she is”

“Ah, this is where your fiancé being a policeman comes in handy. If you want me to find her I will sweetheart”

Alice sat up in her seat and turned to face Matthew as his hand slipped off her stomach and came to rest on her thigh. The thin satin soft under his hand “You would abuse your position to find my sister?”

Matthew took her hand in his “I prefer the word ‘utilise.’ Besides, what’s the use of being a superintendent if I can’t use my role to help the woman I love?” he rubbed his thumb across her hand and smiled to find his finger catching on the ring. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”

Alice snorted “Not in the last ten minutes” she leant in and kissed him deeply. She felt him pull her close as her hands found the greying hair at his temples

“I love  _ both _ of you” Matthew murmured against her cheek

“How would you feel about going back to bed and showing me just how much you love me?” Alice arched an eyebrow at him cheekily

Matthew kissed her cheek “Have you forgotten it's Christmas morning and we promised Jean we’d all go to church together?”

“Damn!” Alice swore “I could… call in sick” she flashed a mischievous smile his way “And you’d have to stay home to  _ take care of me _ ”

The hidden meaning was not lost on Matthew and he trailed his fingertips up under the lace hem of her nightdress. “Tempting, very tempting”

“It’s not entirely untrue” Alice continued as his lips skimmed across her collarbone. She shivered.

“Untrue? No. Dishonest? Well….” Matthews voice trailed off

Alice sighed theatrically “Damn you Lawson. Why do you have to be so honourable?” she cupped his jaw with her hand and stared into his eyes

Matthew raised his hand and placed it over hers and nuzzled his face into it “I’m a policeman. It comes with the job”

* * *

As she dressed, Jean hummed to herself as her mind wandered to thoughts of Christmas lunch. Lucien wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. He nibbled her neck as she laughed heartily. “Didn’t you get enough of me in the shower?” she spun, lithe as a dancer in his arms, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“No such thing as enough of you” Lucien growled as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Jean giggled as his beard tickled her skin, then pushed him away playfully “Go and get dressed you silly man. We’ll never make it to church at the rate we’re going.”

“Ah you’ve seen through my plan” he grinned at her playfully

Jean rolled her eyes “Lucien!” she chided “I’ve still got to make breakfast”

Lucien pulled her waist back to him “Why would I need breakfast when I have a tasty meal right in front of me?”

Jean shook her head fondly and kissed the tip of his nose “Get off me” she smiled as he pouted

“To be continued” Lucien finally released his grip on her and without any more distractions they dressed quickly.

Jean did the last button up on her blouse and turned to Lucien who sat on the edge of the bed doing up his shoelaces. “I’ll go and get breakfast started.” She turned and walked out of the room.

Lucien watched her retreating backside, then was left staring into an empty space as a warmth spread through his chest. Who knew that he could be so happy again? After the nightmare of Singapore and losing Mei Lin and Li, Then grieving the news of her death and shakily reuniting with Li, and just as the cup of happiness was at his lips once again, having it abruptly knocked out of his hand with the untimely arrival of a very much alive Mei Lin along with Derek Alderton. But Alderton was dead, and Mei Lin was happily living her life back in Hong Kong. And now Jean was his  _ wife,  _ and she was making them breakfast on Christmas morning. Lucien grinned a goofy grin and followed after Jean.

When he met up with her, she was standing outside the kitchen, listening intently. She motioned for him to be quiet and he crept closer.

_ “I don’t want this to be weird. For him or me. Maybe it would be better with someone who doesn’t know me at all?” _

_ “Sweetheart, Lucien is a doctor, He’s used to treating all sorts of people, I’m sure he wouldn’t think it was weird. _

Jean glanced at Lucien with alarm.  _ Was Alice sick? _ She quickly turned her head back and risked a peek around the doorway.

_ “But it’s up to you. If you’d prefer to see someone at the hospital that’s what we will do.” _

As they watched, Matthew took Alice’s hand and light glinted off the new ring that adorned her finger. Jeans mouth dropped open at the sight of the ring. She looked back at Lucien who was grinning madly.

_ “I’m so conflicted Matthew. On the one hand I’m so excited you want this, with me”  _ there was a pause and Alice continued _ “on the other hand I’m terrified. Of the whole thing.” _

Jean almost gave herself away gasping as she watched Matthew wind an arm around Alice and rest a hand protectively over her belly.

_ “There’s the pregnancy, then giving birth, then motherhood. Plus before all of that, I have to plan a wedding and we have to find somewhere to live. And raise a child.” _

Lucien was absolutely beaming and made a move to enter the kitchen, but Jean pulled him away. She tugged at his hand back to their bedroom where Jean turned to Lucien.

“Well….” She looked at him with wide shocked eyes.

“Well indeed!” Lucien couldn’t wipe the smile off his face “Stomach bug indeed”

“It certainly explains a lot” Jean surmised, remembering how pale and clammy Alice looked last night, and the conversation that had made no sense, all of a sudden was made clear as day. She smiled

Lucien frowned at her “Why did you pull me away? I wanted to get in there and congratulate them”

“I know Lucien,” Jean placed her hands on his shoulders “but let’s just let them tell us about it all. In their own time. You know how private they both are. Alice would be mortified she knew we overheard all of that” She held his cheek in her hand and ran her fingers through the coarse hair in his chin.

Lucien thought for a bit and nodded “True.”

“I wish we hadn’t overheard it to be honest, It’s going to be just horrible pretending we don’t know” Jean pushed a hand through her carefully set hair

Lucien pulled her hand from her hair and gently fixed her hair “I hope they tell us soon”

“Well she’s wearing the ring, so I guess that part won’t be kept a secret. And they’ll have to set a date, and that will have to be soon, before Alice starts showing. They won’t be able to keep it to themselves for as long as they might like to. People will talk.” Jean paused as she remembered her own hurried wedding. The snide remarks and side looks. That was over twenty years ago now, and while some people had become more accepting of having a child out of wedlock, she knew that others still held to their judgemental views and they wouldn’t be shy about voicing them. She made a silent promise to herself then and there that she would stand by Alice through her pregnancy and defend her to anyone who dared cross her. Although being the wife of the chief superintendent might protect her from some of the more direct attacks.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” Lucien probed as he wrapped his arms around Jeans waist and pulled her close.

Jean lay her head against his chest folding into his arms. “Alice better be prepared for what’s to come”

“The pregnancy? Oh we can help her there. I mean you’ve been through it twice and I  _ am _ a doctor”

_ Three times _ Jean thought silently to herself, Out loud she said “I meant, she’d better be ready to face a whole lot of rude, judgmental people. People will be horrible enough at hearing about the wedding, but once word gets out that Alice is pregnant..... Lucien, people can be downright cruel.”

Lucien unfolded her from his embrace and looked at her, shocked. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide. His forehead creased as he frowned. “Jeannie!” he exclaimed “I’ve never heard you speak of people with such a hatred”

Jean shook her head and refused to meet his eyes “It will be the same people who used to talk about you and I. You know they were talking about us long before Adelaide. And then when we finally did begin to step out together, well you know what it was like.” She sighed and leant against his chest once more “I just wish I could spare Alice some of that kind of talk. Lord knows she’s been through enough in her life already”

“That’s one of many things I love about you.” Lucien traced his hands up her back and began to massage her back ever so gently “Your big heart”

Jean huffed as she looked up into his eyes and smiled gently “Anyone with a smaller heart would have given up on you long ago” she teased him

“True” Lucien smiled down at her, then looked thoughtful. “I wonder if maybe as an engagement or wedding gift we could give them a holiday? As a sort of honeymoon? That would get them both away for a bit and out of the firing line”

“Oh Lucien, that’s a wonderful idea! Do you think they could both get time off work?”

“Well as they’re both workaholics who have probably never take a day off in their lives, I’d say they’re more than entitled to a holiday” He pulled away from her “Now, we’d better get out there and make some breakfast or we’ll never get to church”

Jean smiled at him “I thought you didn’t want to go?”

“I don’t. But it's important to you, so off to church we will go”

Jean wove her fingers into his “I love you” she cupped her other hand around his cheek and kissed his opposite cheek “Now, let's make some breakfast!" she started walking away then turned back to him "And some noise as we come down the hallway so they have some warning”

They chuckled as they made their way down the hallway, hand still entwined, Lucien deliberately walking into the sidetable and Jean loudly scolding him with a smile.

* * *

Matthew and Alice did indeed hear them coming. Matthew, who was making another cup of tea, looked at Alice, who had gone white as a ghost. She looked so ill that Matthew thought she might be sick again, but she swallowed heavily and took a deep breath.

“Are you ready?” Matthew asked as he leant over and held her hand.

Alice exhaled “as ready as I can ever be” 

Matthew kissed the top of her head “Don’t worry sweetheart, They’re going to be thrilled”

Alice looked up at him “Matthew?” she ventured tentatively “I love you” she paused and rested her hand on her belly “We… love you.”

And with that final phrase, and the acceptance in her voice, Matthew had to turn away from her to hide his wet eyes from Lucien and Jean.

“Merry Christmas!” He greeted them over his shoulder “Tea? Coffee?”

Jean placed a hand on his back “Oh I’ll do that Matthew, you sit down. I’ll make us some breakfast” her voice was light but she couldn’t help feeling on uneven ground. Should she notice the ring? Or would they make an announcement? She looked at Lucien who was barely containing a grin.

Matthew sat next to Alice, who with an almost imperceptible nod and the tiniest hint of a smile, gave him the permission he was seeking. He took her hand and cleared his throat. “Um. Well Actually. Alice and I have some news”


	4. It's Not Unusual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's New years eve morning. How will they spend the last day of the year?  
> TW. Some mention of miscarriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently there's more to this story.  
> I'm struggling with writers block on No One Is Alone and I needed a bit of a break from Elaborate Lives. So, here it is. The unexpected continuation of my frankenfic. Which now has at least 5 more chapters planned.  
> Questions and comments welcome, as usual. I hope you like it.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you take the day off,” Matthew soothed as he rubbed Alice’s back, who was once again kneeling by the toilet bowl wiping her mouth.

“No, I’m fine, I just…” Her reply was cut short as a new wave of nausea hit her and she stuck her head in the bowl and vomited again.

“You were saying?” Matthew smiled at her gently

This had been a regular occurrence during the week, Matthew seated on the tiled floor, his legs spayed wide, while Alice knelt between them as Matthew comforted her. It had only been five days since they had become engaged and Alice had stayed at the Blake house every night. The official reasoning was to let them get used to being engaged, But really, Matthew just wanted to keep an eye on Alice and the baby.

“I will be fine,” Alice pressed on. “Once this passes I’ll be fit as a fiddle,” She leant back into Matthews arms, “You know what I’ve been like every other day this week”

Matthew kissed her temple, “What, you mean useless for the first hour and completely brilliant for the rest of the day?” he smiled into her hair, “You know at some stage you’re going to have to step down?”

Alice turned to him with a stern look, “Matthew Lawson. I’m nine weeks pregnant! Don’t you go writing me off just yet!”

“I’m just saying, I know you've been feeling tired, feel free to take a day off when you need it” he traced his fingertips up her arms “I mean it’s New Years Eve. Surely you don’t have mountains of paperwork to do? And you _are_ growing a small human”

Alice stood and helped Matthew up. She leant over the sink and washed her mouth out thinking hard. She had been feeling incredibly tired.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and Lucien’s voice came through the door.

_“Are you two coming out anytime soon or do I have to use the upstairs bathroom again?”_

Alice looked at Matthew in panic.

“Nah, mate,” Matthew called, “best to use the upstairs one for the moment. Sorry.”

They heard Lucien’s footsteps fade away.

Alice took a deep breath, “I think we should tell them about the baby tonight”

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Matthew, I’m not sure of anything at the moment,” tears appeared in her tired eyes.

“Hey, Hey, Hey,” Matthew soothed. “Come here,” he folded her into his arms, “It’s alright.”

Alice sniffed, “Damn pregnancy hormones.” she explained, “I swear I’ve never cried so much in my life.”

They stood in the bathroom and Matthew held her tightly in his arms as she cried.

* * *

“Lucien, Give them their privacy.” Jean admonished as he came back into the kitchen.

Lucien looked at her in surprise, “It was an innocent enough question. I don’t see why they have to shower together every day. It takes them twice as long and I resent having to go upstairs in my own house to use the bathroom”

Jean narrowed her eyes at him, “It’s only been five days! Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Mr Grumpy.”

Lucien blustered, “No I just…”

Jean interrupted him, “And you do realise they’re probably not even actually showering for most of that time?” she whispered quietly, “Alice is having a terrible case of morning sickness. Plus, you can easily bounce up and down those stairs while Matthew _has_ to use the downstairs bathroom.” She glared at him, “so you just pull your head in.”

Lucien felt suitably abashed and he glanced sheepishly at Jean, “I’m sorry Jean. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had a pregnant woman in my life. I’d forgotten how bad morning sickness can be.” he wandered over to where she stood at the counter and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. “Did you have it this bad?”

Jean froze. “Only with my first,” she said evasively. “I knew what to expect after that,” Jean heard the shower begin. _‘Good’_ she thought. That gave her plenty of time, to finally tell him what she had been avoiding telling him for so long.

She turned to face him as she put her arms around his neck and took a deep breath, “Lucien, I lost my first child”

Lucien’s smile fell from his face, “I beg your pardon?”

“I was already pregnant when Christopher and I got married”

Lucien took her face in his hands, “Jean”

Jean smiled sadly at him, “Your father was the doctor who looked after me. He told me it was a girl”

Lucien opened and shut his mouth as if he was going to say something. Eventually he managed. “Jeannie”

She looked at his worried face, “It’s alright Lucien. I’ve made my peace with it now. I was mad about it for a very long time.” She looked away as her eyes teared up, “mad at God, mad at myself, mad at Christopher, but it was just one of those things. I just wasn’t ready to become a mother.” As she looked back at his shocked face a lone tear breached her eyelid and Lucien wiped it with his thumb.

Finally Lucien found his voice, “Jean. All this time. You never told me.”

“I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now, but it’s not really the kind of thing you can drop in to a casual conversation." She took his hands in hers. "I never set out to knowingly keep this a secret from you,” Jean smiled the same sad smile and swallowed “And I’m not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me, but rather because it’s a part of who I am. I don’t bring it up often because we never spoke about it. It’s only come up now because of Alice, Oh Lucien. I couldn’t bear it if Alice lost the baby before she even got to share the news with us.” She leant in and rested her head on his shoulder, nuzzling her face into his neck.

“Give it a few weeks my darling. They’re still getting used to the engagement.” He tipped his head down and kissed the top of her head, “Thank you for telling me Jeannie.”

Jean pulled herself out of his embrace and wiped her face.

“I guess that just makes you even more prepared to help Alice. When she does tell us,” Lucien gently reached out and touched the back of his finger to her cheek. “In the meantime how are we going with preparations for tonight?”

Jean inhaled deeply, grateful for the change of subject. “I thought I’d cook up some lamb chops and some sausages, and make a few salads. Then we can pick at it all night”

“That sounds brilliant, I’ll pick up some drinks on the way home,” Lucien leant forward and kissed Jean on the forehead.

Jean leaned into the kiss and closed her eyes. Finally telling Lucien, took a huge weight off her chest and she felt free, and even her breath felt lighter.

* * *

Alice stepped out of the shower and looked at herself critically in the mirror. “I swear I’m already starting to show,” she turned to Matthew, “Do I look bigger to you?”

Matthew widened his eyes and raised his hands, “Woah, I refuse to answer that question.”

“I’m serious Matthew.”

Matthew wrapped his arms around her belly and looked at their reflection in the mirror, “You look glorious.”

“That’s still not answering my question,” Alice turned in his arms and pressed her face against his bare chest. Her hands spread over the muscles of his back.

They stood, fully naked, enveloped in each other’s arms as they breathed in sync with each other. The moment was so casually intimate it made Alice’s breath hitch in her throat. She never thought she would ever feel this comfortable with another person.

Finally Alice spoke, “I still think we need to tell Lucien and Jean tonight. Jean’s been asking me about wedding dates, and we can’t exactly go setting that until we’ve told them about the baby. They’d guess anyway due to the timeframe.”

“Do you want to set a date?”

“We probably will need to soon. We’ll need to book somewhere,” She pulled back and looked at him, “Matthew, I don’t want a church wedding. I don't want to have to explain this” she nodded down toward her stomach "to a priest"

Matthew pressed a kiss to her worried forehead, “Then we won’t get married in a church.” He thought for a moment, “What about the community centre?”

“It’s not really normal though is it?”

“Sweetheart, nothing about _this,_ ” Matthew indicated themselves, “is normal.”

Alice’s eyes dropped, “You’re right.”

Matthew continued, “You are not normal. You are extraordinary.”

She looked back up at him.

“We’re not a normal couple sweetheart. And I say, let's do things our own way.”

Alice’s face broke into a soft smile.

“People will be talking about us anyway, so let’s give them something to talk about. As for a date, How does April 7th sound?” 

Alice counted up in her head. She’d be almost 6 months pregnant, but it would hopefully be before she got so big she had to waddle down the aisle. She leaned into Matthew and rested her forehead on his shoulder, “We’re really getting married?”

Matthew rubbed his hands up and down her bare back. “We’re really getting married,” he agreed as he kissed her hair. “We’re also having a baby.”

“One thing at a time Lawson.” She grinned at him “Right now, I’m focussing on one thing at a time.”

“Well, right now I think the thing you need to focus on is getting dressed,” Matthew wrapped a towel around her shoulders. “As much as I’m enjoying the sight, we can’t have you catching a cold.”

Alice pulled the towel around her, “You’re right you know.”

“I’m often right, you needn’t be so surprised, but what am I right about this time?”

“I _have_ been feeling tired. And I don’t want to fall asleep before I can wish you a happy new year. I think I might take the afternoon off and have a rest.”

Matthew grinned, “You know you’re sexy when you listen to me.”

Alice ignored him and continued to talk, “Also I think I’ve decided I’d like Lucien to be my doctor. I can’t bear the thought of someone who doesn’t know me, asking me the intimate questions I know will be asked.” She shuddered at the thought.

Matthew misconstrued her shudder for a shiver of cold, and immediately reached out and rubbed the towel up and down her arms. “Conversation to be continued when you have clothes on,” he turned her around and marched her toward the door.

She stopped and Matthew walked into her. She turned, “If you’re this overprotective at nine weeks, I can’t imagine what you’re going to be like at nine months!”

“Get used to it. You’re carrying precious cargo in there,” he nodded at her belly. “Just making sure our little guy is safe.”

Ordinarily this overprotectiveness would have annoyed Alice, but in this time of anxiety, she was actually finding it quite comforting. She raised her eyebrows, “Oh you’ve already decided it’s a boy have you?”

“I just find it easier than calling our child ‘it’,” he steered her back to the door. “Now no more interruptions. Go and get dressed”

Alice quickly turned back and kissed Matthew hard on the mouth. She grinned and turned back toward the door.

Matthew watched her go, a goofy grin firmly planted on his face.

His fiancé. He was still getting used to the word. But soon there would be more words to get used to. _Husband_ was one of them. Another was _Dad_. Matthew rubbed his neck nervously and looked down at his injured leg. He had been staying positive for Alice’s sake, but he couldn’t help but hear the voice at the back of his mind telling him he was too old and to crippled to be a father. He blinked and pushed the thought away as he followed Alice out of the bathroom.

* * *

Alice looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2pm and she was exhausted. She had planned to stay until 3, but as it was she’d done all the important paperwork. Everything else could wait a few days. She packed up her files and locked them in her filing cabinet. Grabbing her bag she scribbled a hasty note in case anyone came looking for her

_Gone home early, due to feeling unwell.  
For help or urgent medical enquiries please contact Lucien Blake c/o Ballarat Police Station.  
Alice Harvey_

As she signed it, she wondered about whether she would change her name. She pondered this as she walked back to the Blake house. On the one hand she’d made a name for herself as ‘Doctor Alice Harvey’ and she didn’t want people thinking she was just Matthew’s whore. On the other hand, she finally had the chance to rid herself once and for all, to the only remaining tie she had to her ‘family’.

She stopped at a crossroad and briefly entertained the idea of going back to her own little flat, But Matthews bed was much more comfortable and she automatically turned down Mycroft Avenue.

She thought about her family. And the family she had made for herself here in Ballarat. Not just with Matthew, but she considered Jean and Lucien a part of that family too. And she had warmed to Miss O’Brien and to Sergeant Davis before they went away. She had kept in touch with Mattie in London, writing the occasional letter, which consisted mostly of interesting medical cases she had stumbled upon. Alice smiled to herself as she imagined the kind of news her next letter would bring.

Her tired feet found their way to the front door and she hesitated. She felt awkward knocking, but odd to just walk in. In the end her weary body decided for her and she opened the door. She heard Jean pottering around in the kitchen, singing to herself, and almost called out to her but stopped. How would she explain the fact that she needed an afternoon rest? She quickly and quietly took herself into Matthew’s room, where she immediately kicked off her shoes and unzipped her skirt. She let it fall to the ground and began to unbutton her blouse. Once she was free of it, she pulled her stockings off and finally lay down on the bed in her slip. Her hand reached under the pillow and pulled out Matthews pajama top. She curled it into her arms and hugged it to her chest tightly. As her eyes fluttered closed a serene smile crossed her face, and she slept.

* * *

Jean made her way down the hallway to Matthew’s room. She wouldn’t let a little thing like New Years Eve get in the way of her washing the sheets. It was a beautiful sunny day and the sheets would dry in no time. She would have them washed and dried before Matthew even came home from the station. At least that’s what she thought until she entered his room and found Alice asleep on his bed. The sight stopped her in her tracks and she crept closer. She looked around the room at the discarded clothing and caught sight of Matthew’s pajamas clutched in Alice’s hands. She chuckled softly as Jean looked at Alice’s face and was amused to see the smile that was there, even in sleep. Her eyes fell on Alice’s bare arms and she fidgeted uneasily. Clearly Alice didn’t want Jean to know she was there, but despite the sunshine outside, there was a chill to the room and Jean felt the urge to cover the sleeping woman. Out of the corner of her eyes she spotted Matthew’s dressing gown and she snatched it up and gently draped it over Alice, who stirred slightly, only to pull at the dressing gown around her further and smile even wider.

Out of habit, Jean picked up the strewn clothing and folded it and placed it neatly on the chair that sat in the corner. Jean looked back to Alice and smiled affectionately at her, and then crept out of the room. The sheets could wait.

* * *

Lucien looked over at where Matthew sat at his desk. Knowing Alice was pregnant and being unable to say anything to Matthew about it was killing him. But Jean had made him promise he wouldn’t let on about the conversation they had overheard Christmas morning.

Matthew glanced up and caught Lucien staring at him. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Can I help you?”

Lucien grinned, “I was just wondering if there was any chance of us getting an early minute, and nicking off home. Since its New Year’s Eve.”

Matthew looked at the clock, “And by early minute, you really mean early hour?” he glanced back at him, an amused smile playing on his face.

Lucien’s only answer was a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well, actually I think I’ve had enough for today, so for once, I’m going to agree with you.” He leaned over his desk with a mischievous smile and whispered conspiratorially, “Let’s go home”

An unbelieving grin swept across Lucien’s face. The old Matthew would have never left work early. In fact, he would have been one of the last to leave, but since he’d been with Alice, he’d been much more eager to get home, to see her, to take her out. He’d been happier too and Lucien had to admit that, although he had his doubts at the beginning, the relationship was good for both Matthew and Alice. They had seemed like such an unlikely match, The grumpy superintendent and the socially awkward pathologist. But they had come together so naturally no one had seen it coming. This had caused much talk amongst the Ballarat locals, especially when Alice had taken over briefly as police surgeon during Lucien and Jean’s honeymoon. Lucien knew Alice and Matthew had gotten off to a rocky start because of this, and Alice had had to deal with people thinking she had been given the job, not on her own merits, but because of their fledgling relationship. And now, they were about to encounter another wave of gossip. He looked back at Matthew who had pushed himself out of his chair and was gathering his things.

Matthew met his eyes, “Are you coming? This was your idea after all.”

Lucien snapped out of his reminiscence and stood. “Right,” he said, smoothing a hand over his head. “Right,” he looked around him, patted his pockets to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind and looked back at Matthew. “Let's get out of here,” he said with a smile.

* * *

Jean heard the front door open and she looked at the clock frowning. “Lucien, is that you?” she called from the kitchen. She heard footsteps and the unmistakable sound of Matthew’s cane on the floorboards and looked towards the kitchen door. Sure enough Lucien and Matthew appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing home so early? I wasn’t expecting you for another hour at least.”

Lucien looked slightly sheepish and Matthew amused, stuck his hands in his pockets.

“He was bored,” Matthew answered, indicating Lucien with an elbow.

Lucien pretended to be shocked, “I? I merely suggested that we could maybe take an early minute.”

Jean raised her eyebrows at him.

“Or two,” he added.

“Or sixty,” Jean shook her head fondly.

“Pop the kettle on would you please Jean?” Matthew urged. "I could do with a brew"

Jean looked at Matthew as he eased himself into a chair at the kitchen table. He clearly didn’t know Alice was asleep in his room. “While I’m doing that, why don’t you go and change out of your uniform?” she suggested innocently turning to fill the kettle at the sink.

Matthew looked at her. He’d just sat down, and while it was a reasonable enough suggestion it bugged him. Why did Jean care what he was wearing?

Jean turned back and saw the slightly confused look he was giving her. “I’m sure your civvies are more comfortable,” she added.

Matthew grunted an agreement. Jean was right, but he still couldn’t help feeling a little miffed as he pushed himself out of the chair he’d sat in just seconds ago.

When Matthew pushed open his door at first he could only see his dressing gown laid out on his bed _‘that’s funny’_ he thought to himself as he frowned. He was certain he hadn’t left his dressing gown like that this morning. Then upon closer inspection he saw the red hair poking out the top and noticed the clothing on the chair. He smiled softly and began to unbutton his jacket. Once he had stripped down to his singlet and shorts, he lay down on the bed next to his fiancé. “Time to wake up, sleepyhead.”

“Matthew?” a confused voice came from under the dressing gown.

Matthew shifted the dressing gown and kissed the tip of her nose.

Alice wiped a hand across her face, “What time is it?”

“It’s still early, sweetheart, I got everything done at work so we came home. I didn’t know you were coming here for a rest.”

Alice snuggled into his side and smiled, “Your bed is more comfortable.”

“Does Jean know you’re here?”

“Nope. I snuck in. I didn’t want to explain to her why I needed a nap.”

Matthew looked at her and his forehead creased, “Alice, are you hugging my pajamas?”

“You weren’t here,” she explained simply.

A soft smile crept over Matthews face. “My Alice.”

“Yours,” Alice replied as she leant her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes once again.


	5. For Auld Lang Syne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years Eve continues  
> Alice and Matthew tell Lucien and Jean why they've been stalling on setting a wedding date.  
> Matthew and Lucien have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter of fluff before a long and angsty one next.  
> I'm rotating posting a chapter from each of my WIP and trying to write a new chapter on each before posting. So sorry if it takes me a while to get back to each  
> Also grilledcheesebandit put a bug in my ear about this story and now I'm trying to decide whether to run with it or not 😍

After dinner they all moved into the lounge room. Lucien put on the wireless and poured everyone a drink. Matthew glanced at Alice who bit her lip nervously.

“I’d like to propose a toast” Lucien announced as he stood with his drink in his hand.

Alice stood up “Actually Lucien, before you do, I have something to say.” She looked to Matthew, who also got to his feet and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Well, _we_ have something to say”

Lucien shut his mouth and sat back down on the couch next to Jean, who reached out and clasped his hand in her own. Lucien grinned at Jean, who shot him a warning look.

“You’ve been asking about a wedding date, and we haven’t given you one, because we, ah, hadn’t set one. But we have now.” She glanced at Matthew who reached out to hold her hand. His strong hand in hers gave Alice the courage to continue “We hadn’t set a date, because… well…” her voice shook “well because there’s something else we had to take into consideration” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath and felt Matthew squeeze her hand gently “I’m… I’m pregnant”

There was a cheerful roar from Lucien as he stood from his seat and clapped his hands enthusiastically. He came at Alice with his arms open wide and a stupid grin on his face and hugged her tight to him “Congratulations” he whispered in her ear.

Alice was overcome. She looked to Matthew who was hugging Jean and fighting back tears.

Lucien let her go and moved to Matthew, where he shook his hand so violently Matthew felt it go through his entire arm.

Jean hugged Alice “Congratulations. I’m so pleased for you” Jeans voice was soft and Alice could hear the smile in it. She swallowed as a lump appeared in her throat and her eyes filled with tears once more. Jean was the closest thing Alice had ever had to a best friend, and her arms were full of warmth and love. Alice couldn’t remember ever being hugged by a girlfriend like this.

She sniffled into Jean’s shoulder “I mean, I know this isn’t the way things are supposed to go”

Jean rubbed a hand up and down her arm “Hey, since when have either of you ever followed convention?”

Alice pulled away and laughed slightly, wiping her eyes. “I’ll be glad to have you by my side Jean”

“And Lucien and I will help you out wherever we can”

“That reminds me” Alice looked to where Lucien and Matthew sat on the couch “Lucien?”

Lucien stopped talking with Matthew and looked at her

Alice paused and corrected herself “Doctor Blake, I mean, Are you accepting new patients?”

Lucien’s grin stretched even wider “Let’s see” He looked at Jean “Mrs Blake, What do you think? Have we got room on the books for one more?

Jean smiled “Two more” she said indicating Alice’s belly

“Two! Now that’s pushing it” he fixed his misty eyes on Alice “I would be honoured to look after you both”

Alice smiled back at him “Thank you Lucien. There’s no one I trust more”

“So how far along are you?” Jean asked as she led Alice back to the couch with a gentle hand on her back.

Alice was more than grateful to sit again, Her knees had felt like they were about to collapse the whole time she had been speaking. She grasped Jean’s hand as they sat.

Jean was surprised to find Alice seeking her hand but she just smiled and held it tightly.

“By my calculations, I’m about 9 weeks.”

“So morning sickness, fatigue…”

“Oh Jean, like you wouldn’t believe!”

Jean smiled not letting on that she actually knew exactly how bad it had been, having heard her vomiting in the bathroom on more than one occasion, and finding her asleep on Matthews bed this afternoon.

“It’s not the reason we’re getting married, I need you to understand that” Alice persevered. “We do love each other, very much, It just… hurried things along a bit I guess.”

Jean laughed “Let’s face it, you two needed a bit of hurrying along, Dancing about each other in the beginning, I thought we’d never get here” she rolled her eyes sarcastically “So when _is_ the date for the wedding set?”

“April 7th, Jean will you help me plan the wedding? Please” Alice’s eyes were pleading “I’m having enough trouble adjusting to all of” she gesticulated wildly “this. And I have no idea how to plan a wedding. I don’t want lots of fuss” She paused and forced herself to calm down by taking a sip of her drink “Matthew and I would like it to be at the community centre. I figured a church wedding was out, due to _this_ ” she nodded her head down to her stomach “And neither of us have lots of friends and family to invite. So it will be relatively small”

Jean counted up “You’ll be 23 weeks pregnant”

Alice looked at her with a worried face “Do you think it’s too late?”

“It will be fine.” Jean squeezed her hand as she saw Alice’s still furrowed brow “It will be perfect." she insisted "And I would love to help you plan the wedding” Jean smiled at her and her eyes crinkled “Have you had any thoughts about flowers, or music?”

Alice looked at her blankly “um…”

Jean suppressed a grin “Right, So we will start at the basics shall we? Come into the kitchen, I’ve got a few gardening books we can have a look at to give you some ideas of colours. We can start there”

Matthew watched as Jean and Alice left.

Lucien saw his eyes follow them out of the room “I know I’ve already said it, but, really, congratulations again. On the engagement and the baby”

“I’ve had the ring for months. I didn’t want to rush her, you know? And when she told me she was pregnant, well it all just fell into place.” Matthew looked at Lucien “I love her Lucien. More than I have ever loved anyone ever in my life. And somehow, since I’ve found out she’s carrying our baby, I love her even more”

Lucien smiled “It’s so lovely to see you happy Matthew, You deserve it.” Lucien exhaled and learnt back in his chair “Well you’ve certainly had an eventful end to the year. Enjoy it while you can, I can’t help but think this will be the last quiet new years eve you will have for a while”

At his words Matthews shoulders fell and Lucien could tell straight away that something was bugging him

“Matthew?” he leant forward again “What’s the matter?”

“It’s just _that_ , Lucien” Matthew shot a glance at the doorway but Jean and Alice were still nowhere in sight “I’m worried”

Lucien scratched his chin “Worried? About what? Alice?”

There was no answer as Matthew searched for the words he didn’t want to voice

“The baby?”

“Yes, to both of those things, But, Oh Lucien, I can’t help but wonder... " His voice trailed away "Lucien, I’m too old to be a dad! Especially with this leg” he spat bitterly “I won’t be able to run around after them, teach them to kick a footy, I mean, even getting up in the night to cuddle them, Christ, It takes me a good minute and a half to get up on a good day” he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I don’t want my kid to be known as ‘the one with the old crippled father’” his voice shook with emotion

Lucien reached a hand out and put it on his shoulder “Have you talked to Alice about this?”

Matthew shook his head “No. Not yet. She’s got enough worries of her own at the moment. Morning sickness” he shot a look at Lucien “That’s the real reason we’re in the bathroom every morning by the way. Sorry about that”

Lucien waved his hand dismissively

“She’s also worried about being too old herself, I can’t add to her stresses right now Lucien”

“Quite right. Look I’ll try to calm her fears, once I start seeing her, I can tell her facts and statistics, and as long as she stays in good health and takes things easy, she and the baby should be fine.”

Matthew looked at him “Alice? Take things easy? She has two speeds. Flat out, and stop”

Lucien chuckled “Yes, well we’ll certainly have to keep an eye on her. As for the other thing” he nodded to Matthews leg “Don’t you think there aren’t a thousand other things you _will_ be able to do with your child? You can tell them stories, sing them songs, teach them to read. Jean can teach them to cook, I’ll teach them how to play the piano, and Matthew?” Lucien leaned in and put his hand on Matthews shoulder once more “I know that any child of yours and Alice’s will want for nothing. You are both amazing people, and have seen enough of the world to know how _not_ to bring a child up. You’ve both got a strong belief in doing what is right, and the fact that you are both a bit older, it gives you more life experiences to draw on. And let’s face it. I don’t think any kid would dare bully the child of the police superintendent and the medical examiner”

Matthew half smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes

“And Matthew, look, there’s no easy way to say this, but the leg’s not going away. I can give you some more strengthening exercises, and maybe, _maybe,_ one day you might be able to walk short distances without your cane. But, Matthew, you’ll always have a limp”

Matthew suddenly had an idea “Could we work on that? Please Lucien, I want to stand proudly when I marry Alice. I want to dance with her without having to lean on a stick. She deserves that at least.”

“Matthew, she loves you, bung leg and all, But yes we can work on it. When is the wedding?”

“April”

Lucien exhaled “Well we can try, but I’m not promising any miracles, Matthew when you say ‘dance’?”

Matthew smiled at him “Oh just a sway together without the cane getting in the way. I’m not about to waltz her off her feet”

“Maybe. It’s _maybe_ achievable, Don’t go getting your hopes up too high though Matthew, These injuries are incredibly hard to predict, and I hate to say this Matthew,” he looked seriously into Matthews eyes “Your tap dancing career is over”

“Oh shove off” Matthew pushed his hand off his shoulder and drained his whiskey glass

* * *

The song on the wireless ended and the voice spoke

_‘And that folks, brings us almost to the new year, So fill up those glasses and prepare to greet 1963’_

Lucien all but leapt up from his chair to grab the bottle of champagne. “Bubbles for everyone!” he cried as they all stood and allowed him to refill their glasses.

_’10, 9, 8’_

They all joined the countdown as Matthew circled an arm around Alice’s waist

_‘7,6,5,4,3,2,1.’_

They joined in singing the new year in together

_“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And never brought to mind?  
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And auld lang syne?_

_For auld lang syne, my dear,  
For auld lang syne,  
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,  
For auld lang syne.”_

The song continued as Alice looked at Matthew and leaned up to kiss him. The kiss was long and deep as they settled comfortably into each other’s arms.

“Happy new year beautiful” he murmured against her cheek

Alice closed her eyes and smiled and whispered in his ear “You’re going to be a father this year”

Matthew grinned “You’re going to be my wife this year”

_‘Welcome to 1963, From all of us at radio 5CQ Ballarat, we wish you a safe and prosperous new year’_

“Alright everyone, outside. I’ve got crackers!” Lucien grabbed Jeans hand and kissed her cheek, running off, cackling wildly, into the yard.

Jean rolled her eyes “I married the eternal child” she smiled at Matthew and Alice “Are you coming?”

Alice looked at Matthew “We’ll be out in a moment”

Jean grinned at them. “Welcome to the year your lives will change” she said gently as she turned and followed her husband.

Matthew wrapped his arms around Alice who rested her head on his chest

“Our lives _are_ going to change aren’t they?” She sighed

“Yes.” Matthew kissed the top of her head “But for all the best reasons. I can’t wait to marry you. And to meet our child”

“I love you Matthew Lawson”

“And I love you more. Both of you”

Their kiss was interrupted by bangs outside and they broke apart laughing

“Come on,” Matthew took Alice’s hand but spoke to her belly “Let’s go see what mischief Uncle Lucien is getting up to”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Radio 5CQ Ballarat is not a thing. I made it up. 😊  
> Also gold star for anyone who notices the nod to "The ladies who lunch" from Company


	6. To reason with thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice writes to Mattie  
> Jean takes Alice wedding dress shopping.  
> It is a disaster  
> But there is a surprise for Alice on the trip home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up friends, It's a long one!  
> So much happens in this chapter! And I love it ALL!  
> Questions and comments welcome.  
> CW implied abuse

18th February 1963

_Dear Mattie,_

_I hope this letter finds you well.  
I’m writing with some news. I still can hardly believe it myself.  
My first piece of news is, Matthew and I are getting married. Now this may or may not come as a shock to you, It seems everyone around us has just been waiting for us to catch on, Lucien’s comment was ‘About time too’. Matthew proposed Christmas Eve and I’ve never been happier._

_Which brings me to my other piece of news. I’m pregnant. 16 weeks. Lord knows we didn’t plan it and it’s not the reason we’re getting married, But it’s happened and I think I’m happy about it? I’m also quite worried. You know as well as I do about the difficulties women face in older pregnancies. Lucien has agreed to be our doctor so I am trying to rest in the knowledge that our baby is in the best hands. Our baby, I can’t believe I’m writing these words. I never thought myself the maternal type, and I didn’t really have the greatest parental role models as a child, but both Jean and Lucien have assured me that my worries of being a bad mother are unfounded._

_The wedding date is set for April 7th, It’s early enough that I should still be able to enjoy the wedding and not worry about the whispers that I know will come. I am preparing myself for the onslaught of nasty rumours and gossip that will be widespread once the town knows of my condition, the news of our engagement is slowly filtering through. I’m ready. I just hope Matthew isn’t discouraged. I know people will say he’s only marrying me because he ‘knocked me up’ to use the crude term, But they will see in time. I will show them. We will show them._

_It won’t be a big church wedding, we’re getting married in the community centre. Jean is taking me to Melbourne to go wedding dress shopping today. I’m excited and nervous. We’re not really doing the whole maid of honour and best man thing. I intend to walk myself down the aisle. Lucien of course has offered to help with the music and Jean is in charge of flowers, My only disappointment is that I won’t be able to share the day with you. I feel that we’ve become closer since you’ve been gone, than we ever were when you were here. But your work must come first. And I shall proudly call you my friend when you do return._

_I hope that you are looking after yourself and eating properly, I know a nurse’s life often is not conducive to regular meals, but you need to take care of you to be able to give the best care you can to your patients._

_I look forward to your response and to the day when you will be able to meet our child._

_Yours sincerely_

_Alice_

Alice put the pen down, folded the letter and slid it inside the envelope. She would post it when she and Jean were out today. As if she’d read her mind there was a knock at the door of her little flat and she opened it to see Jean smiling at her.

“Jean, Come in, I’m just grabbing a few things and we can go.”

Jean looked around interestedly as Alice disappeared into the side room. It was the first time she’d been in Alice’s flat and she was curious to see how she lived. As expected the place was full of books. There was a tiny kitchen, and a small lounge room. Definitely no room to bring up a child.

“Alice?” she called.

“Hmm?” came the response from inside what Jean assumed was the one bedroom in the tiny space.

“Have you thought about where you and Matthew will live, Once you’ve had the baby?”

Alice’s head appeared around the corner of the door. She made a face “Not really. I mean. I know this is no place to raise a child, But it’s all we’ve got. Neither of us are incredibly well off, and we can’t afford to just buy another place. I’ll probably get a bit if I sell this, but we can’t do that until we have a place to go to.” She scratched her head distractedly, messing up the neat hair she’d just brushed “Trapped in between a rock and a hard place, as they say.”

Jean automatically put a hand out and smoothed Alice’s hair back down “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you move in with us? Then you can sell this place and have a down payment on a place for the both of you.” She smiled and corrected herself “Well the three of you.”

Alice was stunned “Oh Jean, I couldn’t do that. You already cook for me most nights as it is.”

“Exactly, so it really makes no sense for you to have to go home at the end of the night. I’m sure Matthew and Lucien would agree with me. None of us like having to say goodbye to you after tea knowing you’re going home to a cold and empty house. Come and stay with us for a while. You can move into my old bedroom upstairs if you’re worried about having your own space or about what other people might say.”

Alice’s mouth hung open “Do you really mean this Jean?”

“Would I have said it if I wasn’t serious? It will be easier too, once you get further along in your pregnancy, we can all keep an eye on you. You won’t have to book appointments with Lucien during work hours either. He can check you over anytime.”

A smile crept over Alice’s face “I’ll talk it over with Matthew tonight” Then rolling her eyes she added “Ugh the boys will be a nightmare, I’ll never have a moments peace with those two fussing over me.”

“Well if they’re annoying you just tell them to nick off!”

There was a small pause as they both grinned at each other.

“Jean, Thank you.”

“Hey, what are friends for?”

“I wouldn’t know. You’re the first one I’ve had.”

There was an awkward pause as there always was whenever Alice came out with this kind of thing.

“I wrote to Mattie today. I told her about Matthew and I, and the baby.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you two kept in touch” Jean was surprised. Alice had never really showed much indication that she was friendly with Mattie.

Alice looked at Jean “She’s clever. I want to make sure she has all of the opportunities I never got. There’s a whole world out there for her to explore. I was one of only two females when I went to university. And the other got pregnant and dropped out in our second year.” She grabbed her bag “Alright I’m ready, Lets go.”

Jean looked at Alice side on as they walked to the car “How far along are you now?”

“16 weeks.”

“You’re barely showing.”

Alice looked slightly uncomfortable “I’m just hiding it well Jean. I’m definitely growing. And not just my stomach. Is it normal for my breasts to grow so much?” she pulled at the fabric at her bust and made a face.

Jean chuckled “Completely normal I’m afraid. While we’re in town maybe we can stop in at the lingerie store too. You could even pick out something nice for the wedding night” she teased as they got in the car.

Alice’s cheeks coloured “Jean!”

Jean grinned at her “Just a suggestion.”

* * *

A few hours later and Alice was getting frustrated. This was the third bridal store they had been into. The first one they went into, the shop assistant had wrongly assumed she was the mother of the bride, She’d turned around and walked straight out leaving Jean to explain it to the confused salesgirl. The second shop, everything was too fussy, every dress had lace and beading everywhere, She hadn’t tried a single dress on and had turned her nose up at everything that was presented to her. Now they were in a third store and Alice was bored and tired. She never enjoyed shopping under normal circumstances, but the added pressure she was feeling, to pick ‘The Dress’ was overwhelming. She sat on a pouffe and looked around the store, overwhelmed. It was all so _white!_

Jean saw her sit and smiled slightly. “You alright?” she called kindly.

Alice exhaled heavily “I’m not exactly enjoying this.”

Jean smiled at her, Why don’t you just try a few things on? Then you can get some kind of idea of the style you might like. It could narrow down your options.”

“Fine” Alice threw her hands up in surrender “Bring me some dresses” she knew she was being a bit difficult, but shopping always put her on edge.

Jean hid another smile and shook her head slightly.

After browsing for a while and picking out a few different styles Jean returned to where Alice still sat, staring out the window.

“The shop assistant is ready to help you try on a few dresses, They’re in the dressing room.”

Alice shot her an incredulous look “I need help?” Her eyes widened. She hadn’t thought this far and wasn’t keen on the idea of someone else seeing her undressed.

Jean saw her worry “Oh it's just for zips and buttons, some of the fabric can be a bit delicate.”

Grumbling slightly Alice pulled herself off the pouffe. She hadn’t come all this way to not try at least a few options on. Dragging herself to the back of the store she saw a large fitting room with three gowns hanging on hooks. She quickly entered and pulled the curtain closed before any shop assistant could join her. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. She quickly stripped out of her blue blouse and grey skirt and eyed the first option warily. She didn’t even like the way it looked on the hanger. But she owed it to Jean to at least try it on. Gritting her teeth she slid it off the hanger and stepped into the dress. As she pulled the sleeves up her arms a voice came from the other side of the curtain.

“How are you going in there?” The curtain was pulled aside and a plump woman appeared. She seemed to be about the same age as Alice, wore too much makeup and her hair was pulled back into a bun. Her gaudy gold earrings glittered as she nodded at Alice’s reflection.

“What are you thinking?” her spiny fingers poked Alice’s back as she did up a row of buttons.

Alice was caught off guard. “I… I don’t know.”

“Alice? Have you got one on? Let’s see” Jean’s face joined the woman, whose nametag read ‘Ursula’, in the mirror.

“Come out into the light you can’t possibly see the dress properly in there” Ursula ushered her out into the open space.

Alice stared stonily at Jean, who was barely holding in her giggles. “I gather you don’t like this one?”

“Correct” Alice answered “it itches."

This sent Ursula off on a speech about appropriate undergarments, which was quickly silenced by a look from Alice.

“I’m gonna try the next one on” Alice disappeared back into the changeroom and glaring at Jean, pulled the curtain across.

Jean shot an apologetic smile at Ursula, who looked at Jean in confusion.

“Alice is not all that interested in clothes shopping” she tried to explain. But this only seemed to increase her confusion and they fell back into an awkward silence.

The curtain was pulled back once more and Alice turned and motioned to the back “Could you do me up please?”

Ursula dashed forward eager to be helpful and, pulled the zip up.

“I like the colour of this one” Alice turned to Jean. “But not the style.” The dress was an off white, ivory colour in a pleated shiny fabric which fell past her ankles “It’s too long. I will trip” Alice declared flatly.

“Oh Alice, Think positive” Jean urged.

“Alright, I’m positive I will trip” Alice said with a forced smile.

Jean hid her laughter behind her hand as Ursula fussed with the silky fabric at the floor murmuring something about hemming it.

Alice turned and almost treading on Ursula’s hand traipsed back into the changing room.

“Your friend is very particular” Ursula glanced sideways at Jean.

Jean tried to laugh it off “Aren’t all brides-to-be?”

Ursula pursed her lips and said nothing.

The curtain was swept back and the hint of a smile was upon Alice’s face.

“You like this one Alice? I can tell” Jean’s eyes twinkled.

Alice fingered the delicate whispy fabric. The dress had a shirt collar with buttons down the front and a v neckline, see through loose sleeves and the full skirt flowed to a mid-calf length “I like the style, But I don’t like the white.” Alice turned to Ursula “Do you have something similar to this, in a colour like that one?” she indicated the previous dress.

Ursula all but rolled her eyes “I’ll go and have a look” She swept away leaving Jean and Alice alone.

“I’m sorry Jean.”

“Don’t apologise Alice. This is your day. You deserve to feel beautiful.”

Alice felt her ears get hot as she chewed on her lip. She didn’t feel beautiful. She felt heavy and tired “I need to sit. There’s a stool in the changeroom. Can you tell Ursula to pass any options through the curtain when she comes back please?”

“Of course.”

Alice walked back into the changing room eyeing herself critically. She stripped off the dress and sat on the stool. Placing a hand on her swollen belly she rubbed her fingers over it gently and looked at it in the mirror.

“Ursula, wait” she heard Jean’s voice call, as the curtain was pulled aside and the woman appeared carrying a dress.

Her eyes flashed down to where Alice cradled her stomach and she raised her eyebrows in surprise “Oh” she said with realisation, her nasty eyes narrowing “Now I see why you didn’t want the white dress” she turned her nose up as if smelling something bad.

Alice jumped up from the stool clutching her shirt to her “It’s not like that!” she snapped.

“Like hell it’s not” Ursula scoffed.

Jean appeared behind Ursula “I beg your pardon?”

“And you’re just as bad, bringing this whore into a respected establishment” Ursula rounded on Jean, her nostrils flaring and two chins wobbling furiously.

“Alice?” Jean said so softly that Alice barely heard her over the ringing in her ears, but there was no mistaking the note of danger in her voice “Put your clothes back on. We’re leaving.”

Alice yanked the curtain closed and dressed quickly. Her heart was pounding and she could barely breathe.

Jean turned to Ursula and spoke in a low voice so full of venom Ursula half expected her to spit “I, am a doctor’s wife, and Alice” She indicated the changeroom with her eyes “Is about to marry a chief superintendent. We will never set foot in here again, and we will be urging all of the people we meet at society galas and balls to also avoid you at all costs.”

Alice pulled the curtain back and joined Jean.

“Come on Alice, let’s get out of here” Jean began walking to the door.

“Just a minute” Alice called after her, then turning her attention to the woman in front of her spoke slowly and calmly. “For your information I love Matthew, and he loves me. And he adores our child. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. So you can go back to your sad lonely life, as I can only assume that is why you are so bitter and cruel” She looked the woman up and down “It doesn’t matter how you dress it up, You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig. Good day” she turned her back and her heart raced as she followed Jean out of the shop. They did not speak until they reached a park bench at the end of the street where Alice dropped onto it gratefully and burst into tears.

Jean sat next to her and rubbed a hand up and down Alice’s back. She was seething with rage. "I do not believe it."

Alice was trembling as the tears fell. The ringing in her ears increased and she leant over the side of the bench and vomited violently. She wiped her mouth with a shaking hand “Do you know what’s funny about all this?” She shot a bitter smile at Jean.

Jean raised her eyebrows “Nothing? Look Alice I’m so sorry, I literally turned my back for a few seconds and didn’t catch that horrible woman in time.”

Alice waved a hand “Hey It’s not your fault that woman is a judgemental stupid bitch” she spat icily “No I was referring to the letter I sent to Mattie earlier today, In it I said I was ready for the gossip” She took a shaky breath “I think I may have lied.”

“Oh Alice, no one is ever prepared for how nasty people can be. Trust me, I know.

Alice looked at her through wet eyes, puzzled, and Jean sighed.

“I was pregnant when I was married” she revealed softly “We lost her” she added “But I can still remember the taunts and the whispers.”

Alice didn’t know what to say. “Jean...”

“Though no one was ever so blatantly rude like she was” she nodded her head back to the direction of the dress shop “It was more behind my back whispers and snide looks, No one ever abused me to my face. That was something else” she looked to Alice who was still struggling to get her breathing under control. Glancing around she saw a small quiet café across the road “Come on. Let’s get you some water and then maybe a coffee to get that taste out of your mouth.”

Alice’s lips trembled “Thank you Jean. For having my back in there. I’m not used to people sticking up for me.” She looked toward the coffee shop took a deep breath and exhaled loudly “I wonder if they have vanilla slice.”

* * *

After a good sit down, another cry, some water, two coffees and a vanilla slice Alice sat back in the café chair and sighed. “Can we go home now?”

“Did you still want to visit the lingerie store?” Jean asked gently.

Alice groaned slightly “Ugh, I’d forgotten about that. Yes, alright. THEN we’re going home. I’ve had more than enough of shopping for today.”

Another hour later and two parcels were carefully packed, one for Jean and one for Alice, into the car and they began the drive back home.

Jean was aware that Alice had gone quiet and wondered what she was thinking. She glanced over at her to see Alice chewing on the inside of her cheek, her hand resting on her belly, staring unseeing out of the windscreen.

“Alice? Are you alright?”

The only answer was a slight nod followed by a small glance down at where her hand lay.

“You’re not still worried about that horrible woman in the shop are you? Because…” but before she could continue, Alice cut her off.

“No” Alice turned her face to Jean, who was surprised to see a small smile on her friends face and emotion shining in her eyes.

“No Jean, Nothing like that.” She looked down at her belly again “I think… I think I just felt my baby move for the first time” She turned her bewildered eyes toward Jean whose face had broken out in a similar smile to the one Alice wore.

“Oh Alice!” Jean immediately pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car. “May I?” she raised a hand to Alice’s stomach questioningly “I know I won’t be able to feel it, I just want your child to know how much it is already so loved.”

Alice swallowed and pressed her lips together tightly to hold the emotion in. She nodded unable to speak.

Jean gently placed a hand on the tiny bump “Hello little one” she whispered, almost reverently “It’s your Auntie Jean here.” She looked at Alice “Your mummy has had a big day and she’s been very strong. She and your daddy love you so very much. As do I and your Uncle Lucien.”

Alice felt the ever-present tears spill down her cheeks “Jean, this is incredible. I had no idea.”

“Just wait till the little one starts to really kick you. I doubt that you will say it’s incredible after the constant battering your bladder takes when there’s no bathroom in sight” She rolled her eyes and smiled softly at her. “But I’m so glad this happened to you today.”

Alice met her eyes “Me too. Makes the day not feel like a total nightmare” She placed her hand on top of Jeans. “I’m so lucky to have you as my friend Jean.”

Jean turned her hand over to hold Alice’s “No Alice. I’m the lucky one” She gave the hand a squeeze and then straightened back up “We’d better get moving, I bet you can’t wait to tell Matthew.”

They drove in comfortable silence for a while.

“Jean?” Alice frowned.

“Hmm?”

“Will you teach me some nursery rhymes and lullabies?” She bit her lip “I’m afraid I don’t know many, they weren’t really a thing in our house growing up. But I’d like to sing them to my baby.”

“Oh Alice, I’d love to!”

And for the rest of the trip the car was filled with music and singing as Jean went through Twinkle Twinkle little star, Rock a bye baby, and Mary had a little lamb among others.

They were still laughing about some of the silly words as they pulled into the driveway.

“Oh look, Matthew and Lucien are home” Jean indicated the car.

Alice immediately stiffened up. Matthew would be absolutely livid when she told him about the incident in the dress shop. She exhaled a little more heavily than she meant to and Jean glanced her way.

“Are you going to tell Matthew about what happened today?”

“I think I’ll have to, He will want to know why we came home without a dress” Her stomach churned at the thought of having to relive that moment. She had almost forgotten in the childish joy of singing nursery rhymes.

“Come on, let’s get it over with” Jean patted her leg reassuringly.

As they tumbled through the front door Jean called out “Hello?”

“In the kitchen” came Matthew’s voice.

Jean looked at Alice, saw her swallow nervously, and took her hand. Alice shook her head worriedly and her face went white.

“How was the shopping trip?” Matthew asked as he came into the corridor, an excited smile on his face.

Alice wrenched her hand from Jeans and ran toward the bathroom as a sob escaped her mouth. The door slammed and they heard the sound of Alice being sick.

Lucien’s worried face appeared around the corner as Matthew looked at Jean, alarmed “What happened?”

Jean bit her lip. “There was an incident in one of the dress shops.”

“What?” Matthew frowned

Waving them back into the kitchen Jean explained the incident to them quickly and quietly.

Matthew’s face turned purple “WHAT?” he bellowed angrily and made a move toward the bathroom.

Jean put a hand on his arm to calm him “Matthew you can’t go to Alice like this, you need to calm down.

Matthew looked wildly to Lucien who placed in hand on his shoulder

“She’s right mate, You’ll scare her if you go in like that. Take a few deep breaths.

Jean filled a glass with water “Here drink this.”

Matthew was having trouble thinking straight. His thoughts were all jumbled in his head. All he knew was that he needed to see his fiancé, needed to hold her. He took a few breaths and gulped down the water that Jean had offered.

“Now, do you think you’re calm enough to go to her?” Jean asked kindly.

Matthew nodded blindly as he raised a trembling hand to brush his hair back from his face.

“Look at me Matthew.” Jean said sharply.

Matthew did so and she was unsurprised to see tears in his eyes.

“Today was a lot for her. Don’t force her to talk about it if she doesn’t want to. I’ll get started on dinner, but I'll plan to serve up a bit later, I think she could do with a rest before we eat.”

Jeans gentle voice was calming and Matthew found his breathing slowing down and his mind was clearing “Jean. How could someone be so horrible?” he whispered sadly.

Jean gave him a sad smile “Matthew, People can be downright cruel, but unfortunately you’re going to have to get used to it. I mean the town is already talking about your engagement, once they realise there is a baby on the way…” She tilted her head meaningfully “Well…”

Lucien knew what Jean was thinking and he slipped his hand into hers, and squeezed it tight. “Surely as a policeman Matthew you know exactly how horrible people can be. I mean, we see it every day don’t we?”

“Well, yes, but to Alice? Hasn’t she been through enough?” He rubbed a hand over his face “She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that” He turned and began to make his way to the bathroom.

When he arrived at the door, he knocked softly “Alice?” he could hear her sniffling “Sweetheart, I’m coming in” he pushed the door open.

Alice was seated against the far wall, her knees to her chest and her head was resting on her arms which were hugging her knees. Matthew walked past her skirt lying on the floor and noticed the buttons on her shirt were half undone. Alice looked up as Matthew sat next to her.

“Jean told me what happened.”

Alice leant her head on Matthews shoulder and wiped her eyes. She took a shaky breath.

“I had prepared myself for the behind my back whispers, but I guess I hadn’t realised there would also be in your face accusations.”

Matthew kissed her forehead and stayed silent and let her talk.

“I was scared to tell you, because I knew it would make you mad, and you scare me when you’re mad” her quiet voice trembled.

Matthew’s heart gave a jolt. She was scared of him? “I’m sorry sweetheart” he paused as he thought through his next sentence “Alice, I get mad when something is unfair or when someone is hurtful towards someone I love. That’s one of the reasons I became a policeman. But I would never take it out on you. I couldn’t.”

Alice raised a shaky hand to touch his face “It’s just… hard for me to understand the difference sometimes.”

“Al, I can’t promise I will never bring my anger home from work, but I will do my best to leave it at the door. I promise you..” he took her face in his hands and stared into her eyes "I promise I will never take it out on you. Or our child" His voice was thick with emotion as a tear escaped his eyes. "You will never have a cause to be afraid of me." His voice dropped and when he spoke again it was almost a whisper "I'm not your father Alice."

Alice swallowed heavily “Thank you Matthew” she tipped her face to his and pressed her lips to his. When they broke apart, she snuggled against him “Speaking of doors, Jean made me a tempting offer this morning, but I wanted to talk it over with you before I agreed.”

Matthew regarded her quizzically.

“Jean asked me if I wanted to move into her old bedroom upstairs, then we could sell my flat and have some money toward buying a house.”

Matthew kissed the tip of her nose “I think it's a brilliant idea. Then I never have to say a long goodbye to you at the end of the driveway again.”

“This way, we can have our own space, but I’ll most likely still sneak into your bed some nights…”

“Good, I like snuggling with you.”

Alice once again felt the odd sensation in her stomach that she had in the car, and her mouth crept into a smile “Oh and Matthew, something else happened today.”

“Oh?” Matthew was wary. Her face showed an odd, shy kind of smile.

She took his hand and held it against her belly “You won’t be able to feel it yet, but this one is moving.”

“Are you serious?” Matthew’s eyes met hers in wonder “He’s moving now?”

“Again with assuming it’s a boy” she shook her head fondly “And yes. I’m sure. It first happened in the car on the way home, and again just now.”

Matthew’s attention went back to where his hand sat “Hello little man. It’s your Daddy here.”

Alice rolled her eyes at him calling the baby a man but didn’t say anything, not wishing to ruin this moment.

Matthew looked back at Alice and she was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

“I never thought I’d say that phrase.”

“I never thought I’d go wedding dress shopping.”

Their lips met once again.

“Now Jean’s cooking tea, but I’m suggesting we have a lay down and a rest before dinner. I just want to hold you in my arms. And keep you safe”

Alice stood and slipped her arms into the satin oriental robe on the back of the bathroom door. She couldn’t remember if it was Jean’s or Lucien’s but she was grateful it was there. She turned as Matthew pushed himself up with effort, and after securing the robe with the silky tie, held out her hands.

Matthew bypassed the hands and wound his arms around her waist.

Alice smiled into his neck as she anchored him to her pushing her fingers through his short hair. “Come on. My little girl and I need a nap” she looked at him, daring him to disagree with her on the gender of their unborn child.

“Honestly, I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy, As long as it is healthy” Matthew said as he took her hand and kissed it.

When they got back to Matthews room Alice made a beeline for the bed and she lay down on her side, still wrapped in the silken robe.

Matthew quickly kicked off his shoes and took his uniform off and joining Alice on the bed, he noticed her eyes were already closed. He wrapped an arm around her and rested his hand on her little bump, which had caused her so much pain and so much joy in one day. He kissed her bare neck and saw her smile. The memory of the horrible shop assistant would fade, but the joy their child gave them would grow and sustain them both. He closed his eyes and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vanilla Slice is an Australian pastry a bit like a custard tart. It is thick custard on top of either a puff pastry or biscuit base and icing on the top.  
> 


	7. Just one of those things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice moves into the Blake house as people begin to talk.  
> Matthew has some unexpected news for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, It's been a while. My writing mojo has been missing, and COVID and work hassles have made life pretty exhausting. But I'm looking forward to a new year with new challenges and a new direction for my life, which hopefully will mean more time and headspace for writing.  
> If you enjoy this story, please let me know. Comments mean more than you think.

Lucien grunted as he carried another box of books into his old room. They were storing some of Alice’s belongings in it while they cleared her flat. She didn’t have much, but what she did have, was heavy. Placing the box down he groaned as he straightened up, placing his hands in the small of his back and stretching it out slightly.

Alice appeared in the doorway and she smiled at him “Thank you Lucien” She stepped back as Bill, followed by Ned appeared in the doorway also lugging boxes of books. She looked at them sheepishly “I guess I have a lot of books” Bill shot a surprising smile her way as he and Ned filed back past her.

Lucien grinned at her “Remind me again why I and the police force are helping you move?”

“Because you have forbidden me to do any of the heavy lifting, and Matthew is unable to.” She put her hands on her hips and arched a cheeky eyebrow at him. “Any other questions?”

Lucien let out a comical groan in reply, rolling his eyes.

She smiled back at him, continued to watch them for a while, then feeling slightly unnecessary, went in search of Jean.

She found her in the kitchen drying some dishes and Alice sighed as she slipped into a chair at the table.

“Oh” Jean was surprised as she turned around. “Alice, I didn’t hear you come in. I thought you were overseeing the storage of your library?”

Alice shook her head, “I couldn’t stay in there any longer Jean, I felt so useless. So guilty.”

Jean smiled, “Well we could always get out of the house. You still need a dress you know.”

Alice’s shoulders slumped. “I know,” she sighed. “I just don’t fancy a repeat of what happened last week. I feel like I’m getting bigger every day.” She looked down at her growing bump.

“Alice, it’s only obvious to you because you’re seeing it every day. You know it’s there.” Jean soothed. “I can hardly see it.” She glanced at Alice's face and saw she still looked unconvinced. “Come on, Let’s get out of here, and go and have a coffee, and leave the boys to it.”

As they walked to the coffee shop, Jean’s sharp eyes darted around them. She knew there were unkind things being said by some of the ladies in town, about Alice and Matthew’s engagement, and word was getting around about their hurried wedding. Though Alice still wasn’t obviously showing, and the pregnancy hadn’t been announced, the rumour mill was churning, and Jean wanted to spare Alice as much of the narrowed eyed glances, and the nasty comments as she could.

Jean chose a table tucked away in a quiet corner, and went to the counter to place their order. Two coffee’s, a vanilla slice for Alice, and a jam donut for herself. Whilst paying she overheard the quiet conversation from a nearby table.

_“Alice Harvey, yes, she’s engaged to that grumpy old policeman, you know the crippled one, who walks with a stick.”_

_“Word is he knocked her up, The wedding is six weeks away! There’s only one reason to rush a wedding like that!”_

_“Well I still maintain it was the only way she was going to ever get a husband, I mean she carves up dead bodies for a living!”_

_"Creepy, I call it!"_

Jean glanced over to Alice who was safely out of earshot, and then back to the lad behind the counter. If she could hear the harsh comments so could he. She recognised him as one of the local boys from the Anglican church she had been attending.

The boy winked at her. “Want me to burn their coffee’s Mrs B?”

“Thanks Harry, Feel free to spit in them too.” She rolled her eyes at him and walked back to where Alice sat, thankfully oblivious to the sneers and horrible comments occurring behind her.

The coffees were hot and strong and Alice felt its warmth fill her. They sat in comfortable silence, as they ate their sweets and sipped their coffees.

Jean licked the cinnamon off her fingers and wiped them dry on her napkin. She reached out a hand across the table to take Alice’s hand in hers. “Alice, I have something to ask you.”

Alice looked sharply at her, then down at where her hand was enveloped in Jeans, puzzled. “What?” she frowned slightly at Jean.

“I know you don’t want to go wedding dress shopping again…”

Alice pulled her hand out of Jeans and huffed, “No Jean. I don’t.”

“Well, I was wondering… Would you let me make your dress?”

The heat that had flared up at the mention of dress shopping vanished at once. Alice stared at Jean, unable to speak.

Jean went on, “I’ve been thinking about it, and that dress you liked, back in the shop, It really wouldn’t be that difficult to make. And you could have your choice of colour, and fabrics… and,” she lowered her voice, “I can alter it if you need a bit more room, you know?”

“Jean!” Alice was stunned, “I couldn’t ask you to do that?”

Jean sipped her coffee and shrugged, “You didn’t ask, I offered. It would be my wedding gift, to you.”

Alice stared at her. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Jean grinned. “Say yes! Please?! I don’t particularly want to take another fruitless trip to Melbourne.”

Alice’s eyes filled with the hormonal tears that she was getting increasingly frustrated with. She swiped at her eyes, “Do you really mean it Jean?”

“It would be an honour. How about we go to Melbourne to look at fabrics instead?” She saw Alice’s shocked look and hurriedly added, “Not today!”

Relief washed over Alice’s face.

“Maybe next weekend.”

Alice smiled softly. “Thank you Jean. I’ve never had a best friend before.” She shyly reached her hand across the table and Jean took it back up in her own.

“Well you do now.” Jean drank the last of her coffee and stood up. “Shall we go home and we can draw up some designs of what we both remember?”

Alice wiped her sticky fingers on her napkin and then dabbed it at the corners of her mouth. “Yes Jean. Let’s go _home,_ ” she emphasised the last word and felt her heart fill with warmth. She would soon be living in a house with her friends, and her fiancé, and they were going there now, where they would draw up the design for her wedding dress, which she would wear when she married the father of their child. She smiled at the turn her life had taken and wondered if she would have believed it if someone had told her a year ago, this would all be happening. It all still seemed somewhat of a fairy tale.

* * *

Two weeks later, and the designs for the dress were finalised. Fabric had been bought, measurements taken and Alice had well and truly moved into the Blake house. Her old flat lay empty. The **'For Sale'** sign outside it, had set more tongues wagging and more and more people were raising their eyebrows at Alice as she walked by. Even though she’d moved into Jean’s old bedroom, the gossip had been rife, and provided yet another subject to be discussed at length in hushed, scandalised tones. Luckily Alice had been spared most of this, as she worked alone or with the police most days, and came back to the house at night.

Tonight, she was sitting in the lounge room with her feet up reading a book, her hand resting comfortably on her little belly. She heard the front door close, and the uneven gait of Matthew and his cane. Putting her bookmark in her book and closing it, she smiled. “Matthew?”

Matthew appeared in the doorway and after kissing her cheek, he sat on the couch and took her hand. “Sweetheart. I have some news.”

Alice’s stomach dropped. Nothing good started with those words.

Matthew saw the colour drain from her face and hurried on. “It’s about your sister. I’ve found her.”

Alice’s mouth dropped open as she stared at him hardly knowing what to say. _What was the correct response to this?_ She moved her eyes from him and stared unblinkingly into the empty space in front of her.

Matthew continued to speak, “Georgina Elizabeth Hart, nee Harvey. Lives in Millicent, South Australia. Married to a banker, Scott Hart, they have two children.”

Most of this was lost on Alice as she turned to him with glassy eyes. “You found her? You found Gina?”

Matthew smiled gently, “Yes. I have a phone number for you. I didn’t know whether you wanted to meet, or call, or do nothing.”

“Where did you say she lived?”

“Millicent, in South Australia.”

“And she’s married?”

Matthew nodded, “With kids, two girls.”

Alice gave a small smile. “Of course, It figures. The curse of the Harvey women.” She looked to Matthew who looked confused. “That’s why I’m so convinced ours is a girl. We can’t have boys, just to spite my father.” Her face changed, “What if she’s in contact with him. What if I ring her and she tells him where I am and they turn up here?” Her wild eyes looked from Matthew down to their unborn child, “I won’t have them interfering with my life!”

“Hey, hey,” Matthew raised her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to them, “IF your sister is in contact with your father, which sounds highly unlikely considering what he put you both through, you can politely ask her to not mention you to them. And if worse comes to worse and they do turn up here we will deal with it. I _am_ the police superintendent. I can have them escorted out of town for disturbing the peace, or arrested for being generally unpleasant people.

Despite her worries Alice let out a small giggle, “That’s not an offence Matthew.” She wondered what her parents would think of her marrying a policeman, and carrying his child. Her father would be livid that she was marrying a ‘pig’, and her mother would only see Matthew’s stick, and bad leg, and would think Alice could do better. Her breathing hitched in her throat.

Matthew noticed this and kissed her forehead gently. “You don’t have to do anything with the number if you don’t want to. Not now, not ever. But you now have the option.”

Steely determination glinted in Alice’s eyes. “Where’s the number. I want to call her. Now.”

Matthew reached into his top pocket and produced a piece of paper. “Use the phone in the surgery, You’ll have more privacy.”

Alice took the paper with trembling fingers and her face went white. “What if… what if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”

“Then you hang up, have a cry and we move on with our lives. You won’t know until you try.”

Alice nodded numbly.

Matthew took her hand, “Do you want to be alone, or do you want me to be there with you?”

Alice blinked, unsure “I… don’t know.”

“How about I come and sit next to you with a book, and you can take my hand if you need to, or shoo me away if it becomes too much and you don't want me there anymore.”

Suddenly it hit Alice, She would be calling her sister. Who she hadn’t seen in over 25 years. She remembered the last time she had seen her like it was yesterday. It had all happened so fast. A teacher at the school had noticed the regular bruising, put it together that neither girl ever had a full lunch box, or clothes or shoes that fit, and reported it to the police who, after recognising Alice from her previous visits and complaints, which they’d waved away, removed the sisters from the Harvey house immediately. Family services had deemed the two young teenagers too hard to place as a pair and had sent them off to two different families, who in turn sent them to different schools. Looking at Matthew she whispered, “I’m actually going to do this aren’t I?”

Matthew saw her worried face, “You don’t have to if you’re not ready sweetheart. You can leave it a few days…”

“No. I want to do it now, Before I lose my nerve.”

“Right, Well, let me just go and tell Jean and Lucien what’s going on, so they give you some privacy.” Matthew pushed himself off of the couch and as he walked down the hallway he wondered if he had done the right thing by finding them and telling Alice. If this all blew up in her face Alice would be devastated. When he reached the kitchen he cleared his throat. Jean was sitting at the table flicking through a recipe book and Lucien was at the sink washing his tea cup. They both turned to him and smiled.

“Um.. Alice is just going to use the phone in the surgery. To make a phone call. To her sister… So… um… yes,” he avoided eye contact with either of them and turned on his heel and made his way back to the lounge room.

There was a silence in the kitchen as Jean and Lucien processed what Matthew had said.

“A sister? Lucien, did you know Alice had a sister?” Jean quizzed.

“She mentioned it to me once, but I got the feeling they hadn’t seen each other in years. Alice said she didn’t even know where she was.” Lucien raised his eyebrows at Jean, “Looks like Matthew found her.”

* * *

Back in the surgery Alice stared at the phone.

“Do you want me to dial sweetheart?” Matthew asked gently.

Alice turned to him, her face still ghostly pale. “Please. My hands are shaking so much I don’t think I can.”

Matthew obediently dialled the number. He listened for a moment and then passed her the phone, “It’s ringing.”

Alice’s stomach churned as she held the receiver up to her ear and clutched Matthews hand as he sat in the chair, his book resting on his lap.

She felt her blood run cold as a painfully familiar voice answered the phone.

_“Hart residence.”_

Alice took a deep breath and Matthew squeezed her hand.

“Hello? Gina? It’s me… It’s Alice…… Your sister.”

There was a pause and Alice’s heart felt like it was beating outside her chest.

_“Ali?”_

The voice was tentative, questioning. Alice’s heart seemed to be in her throat and she couldn’t speak.

_“It must be you, no one else has ever called me Gina…. But they told me…”_ The voice faltered, _“They said you were dead,”_ the wobbly voice was so quiet and Alice gasped. She squeezed Matthew’s hand so tight he winced, but he gritted his teeth and pressed a kiss to the hand clutching his. Unable to hear the other side of the conversation he was unaware of what exactly had made Alice react the way she had, But he needed her to know that whatever she was dealing with, he was there for her.

When Alice spoke again it was with a reassuring tone.

“It’s me. I don’t know who told you what, But it’s me.”

_“Alice!? I don’t believe it!”_

Alice heard a smile in her sister’s voice and her voice caught in her throat. Suddenly Gina burst into tears. Alice was not at all surprised to find tears of her own joining them.

_“But how? I mean… How did this happen?”_

“I don’t know, There must have been a mix up Gina. But I can assure you I am very much still alive and breathing.”

Matthew closed his eyes and shook his head sadly, suddenly understanding the confusion.

_“I can’t believe this is really you.”_

“It’s really me.”

_“So…. What are you doing? Where do you live? How did you find me? I have so many questions Al!”_

Alice chuckled slightly, “Well… I live in Ballarat, I’m a Doctor actually.

_“A Doctor?!”_

_“_ My uh fiancé found you. He’s a policeman.” She glanced at Matthew, who smiled gently at her.

_“Your fiancé? Ali! You’re engaged?”_

“Yes actually, and uh, I’m pregnant.” Better to get it all out in the open from the start.

A shrill squeal came through the phone and Alice held it away from her ear wincing slightly, and even Matthew raised his eyebrows in amusement.

_“My baby sister!? Engaged and pregnant! And ALIVE!”_

Alice shifted uncomfortably but smiled a great big smile. “Well what about you? Tell me everything!” As she sat on the edge of the desk, listening to her sister speak about her family, a warmth settled in her stomach.

* * *

45 minutes and an invitation to the wedding later, Alice hung up the phone with a goofy smile on her face. She looked to Matthew, who had nodded off as he sat in the chair. She sat herself in his lap and threw her arms around his neck.

Matthew woke with a jolt and his book dropped out of his hands, as smooth lips peppered kisses all over his face. He smiled gently.

“So, it went well then?”

“Matthew! Thank you for finding her! I love you so much!” The dread that had settled in her stomach had abated and she was now full of so much joy, she felt as if she would burst. “They’re coming to the wedding. I know it wasn’t something we hadn’t really discussed, but you don’t mind do you?” Without even waiting for an answer Alice took his hand and pressed it to her belly. The fluttering feeling, which was becoming normal, even comforting, had returned. “Your daughter thinks its exciting news. I can’t wait until you can feel her too!”

Matthew listened to Alice chatter happily about her sister and smiled lovingly at her. He wanted nothing else but to always make her this happy.

* * *

“Jean do we really need to do this now?” Alice whined as she rolled her neck from side to side. “I’m exhausted!”

“I just need you to try this on. I need to know if I’m on the right track.”

Alice sighed and closed her eyes. Tilting he head back she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Ugh!” She rolled her eyes and then realising how petulant she was being to her best friend, who was making her wedding dress, looked back at the ivory fabric. “I’m so sorry Jean. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. Will you help me?”

Jean smiled as Alice stepped out of her skirt and kicked it away. As Alice unbuttoned her blouse however Jean was slightly taken aback at how quickly her belly was growing. Alice kept it so well hidden that Jean herself often forgot how far along she was. As she helped Alice into the mock up dress she snuck another look at her belly. It wouldn’t be able to be hidden for much longer and Jean had the sneaking suspicion she would continuously be having to alter the dress.

“Have you been drinking lots of water?” she questioned casually.

Alice made a face “I’ve been trying to. Lucien said it’s important to keep my fluids up. But I get so engrossed in my work I forget,” she laughed lightly, then frowned as Jean pulled at the fabric.

“I must have measured this wrong initially,” Jean muttered, annoyed with herself. “Sorry Alice, just hold still for a bit.”

Jean’s measuring tape flew around Alice’s body as Alice hummed happily.

* * *

After dinner that night they sat in the lounge, Jean was knitting a baby blanket, Alice was reading a book and Matthew and Lucien were arguing over the crossword in the paper.

“So when do your sister and her family arrive?” Jean smiled at Alice over her knitting.

Alice closed her book. “The day before the wedding. They’ll drive up and check into the hotel.”

“Oh nonsense. That makes no sense. They can stay here if the two girls are happy to bunk in together.” Jean’s needles clicked in the following silence. “Unless you don’t want them here?”

The silence continued as Alice thought hard, She frowned. “I don’t know Jean. I haven’t seen my sister in so long. What if it’s too much too soon? I mean, a phone call is one thing, but living in the same house again? I can’t even comprehend how that will feel.”

Jean nodded as Alice spoke. “I see what you mean. Well. Have a think about it. If you want to invite them to stay, you are more than welcome to. However if you have any doubts, any at all, they check into the hotel. You and the baby don’t need any added stress.” Jean smiled at her. “I was thinking it might be a nice idea to have a big family dinner the night before the wedding, all of us together, including your sister and her family, Would you like that?”

“That sounds lovely Jean.” A look of alarm crossed Alice’s face. “You’re not planning some silly hens night thing are you?”

Jean smiled gently at her. “No. I figured you wouldn’t be interested in that kind of thing.”

“Damn right.” Alice stifled a yawn. “Thank you. I do like the idea of them staying here. Then Gina could help me get ready in the morning.” Alice suddenly doubted herself. “I mean, if she wants to,” she shook her head, “This all feels so surreal. Neither of us have any idea of how to be a proper sister, we were always just doing what we needed to survive.”

Jean reached out her hand and squeezed Alice’s. “You’ll work it out. I know you will.”

Alice yawned again, “Oh goodness me, I think I’m going to have an early night. Growing a small human is exhausting.” She smiled at Jean. “Good night.”

“Sleep well Alice.”

Alice made her way over to where Matthew and Lucien were still discussing the crossword. “I’m heading to bed,” she said as she pressed a kiss to the top of Matthew’s head.

Matthew took her hand in his and kissed it gently, “Good night sweetheart.”

Lucien raised his eyebrows, “You’ll forgive me if I don’t say goodnight the same way?” He grinned as she shot him a withering look. “Night Alice.”

She nodded a head toward him and smiled at Matthew as she walked away.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs however a wave of exhaustion hit her. She stood staring up the stairs and rubbed her face. Without a second thought she turned and made a beeline for Matthews room. Upon entering she quickly undressed and reaching under his pillow, pulled out his pajama top. Not bothering to undo any buttons she threw it over her head. It was too long and too big but it smelt like Matthew. Pressing her nose into the collar, Alice felt a rush of comfort come over her. She lay down on top of the covers and fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

When Matthew entered his room a little later he was surprised to see her sprawled on top of his bed. He chuckled to himself as he closed the door and squinted slightly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. Was that his pajama top? He reached under his pillow and surely enough only found his pajama pants. Smiling to himself he undressed and pulled on the striped pants. It was a mild night and he didn’t mind going bare chested but he knew Alice always felt the cold, and he stood looking at her sleeping form, her slim bare legs outstretched, and frowned worriedly.

“Sweetheart?” he whispered gently. There was no response. “Alice?” He gave her shoulder a small squeeze.

At this, she sniffed slightly, wiped her face and covered his hand with her own. But still didn’t open her eyes. 

Matthew sighed, slightly amused and sat himself down on the bed next to her and picked up his book. He’d try again in a few chapters time.

He hadn’t even got through a paragraph, when he felt her shift beside him.

Having felt the weight change on the bed Alice turned to face him. She looked up at him blearily.

“Hello Sleeping Beauty” Matthew smiled at her. He put the book back onto his bedside table and lay down next to her.

Alice didn’t answer but she lazily raised her hand and rested it on his bare chest where she began to play with the soft curls she found there.

“I couldn’t find my pajama top,” Matthew said pointedly, “You wouldn’t happen to have seen it would you?

Alice grinned and kissed his chest. “You really should be more careful where you put things. Anyone could have picked it up.”

“Anyone called Alice Harvey, perhaps?”

“Perhaps,” she curled into his side.

“I tried to wake you, to get your legs under the covers,” Matthew continued as he turned his head to kiss the tip of her nose.

“What, these?” Alice responded teasingly, throwing a long, bare leg over his, and snuggling deeper into his side. Her hand began to snake its way down to the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

“Oh. I see what you have in mind,” Matthew smirked. Well then.” His hand reached up underneath the top she wore to cup her breast. “Well, two can play at that game.”


End file.
